Crash Bandicoot: The Dark Fate
by CrashGuy01
Summary: The Dark Master Valestrom is attempting to turn the world evil. Crash, friends, and his arch enemies must try to stop this chaos. Guest reviews are welcome!
1. Chapter 1: Calling for Help

Hello, readers. My name is CrashGuy01 and this is my fanfic, **The Dark Fate**. (Dramatic music) Norm, Penta, and Yaya will be narrating this story – they should be here by now! My talking is _Italicized_ AND in quotations.

Geary (from Crash Nitro Kart), Penta (from Crash Bash), and Yaya (from Crash Nitro Kart [another version] came inside my room.

"I don't remember this on my contract," said Geary.

"_I didn't give you guys one."_

"Do we get paid for this?" asked Penta.

"_Not exactly."_

"Order us pizza," commanded Yaya.

"_You're not in control of me!"_

"Then who is?" asked Geary.

"_I am! Norm, you narrate the story. Penta, you tell the readers the end of each chapter. Yaya, you keep those two in check."_

"Yes, your highness!" said the three. (I hypnotized them into thinking I'm their ruler and to narrate this story. Classic, isn't it?)

"_Here's the first chapter._ _I'll be right back."_

"YES, he's gone, let's order a pizza," suggested Penta.

"Good idea," agreed Norm.

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_The bandicoot,_

_with orange skin,_

_black nose,_

_green eyes,_

_thick eyebrows,_

_and brown hair,_

_Savior of the Island._

_He rules the land_

_with his grin,_

_and abilities that are_

_unevenly matched._

_He must possess all the traits_

_necessary to save our dear island_

_from an unnamed evil,_

_an ancient evil set on destruction._

_The evil must be vanguished_

_by the bandicoot that goes by the name of_

_Crash Bandicoot._

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**Chapter 1: Calling For Help**

It was a nice and swell day at the Mask Carnival at the Motorworld. The sun was shining, people were walking, and Aku-Aku was selling graphic novels (of all things). A youngster with a propeller beanie notices Aku, grins evilly, and comes up to his stand.

"Hi," he said. "Can I get a graphic novel?"

"Sure!" Aku-Aku replied, giving him a graphic novel.

"Gee, thanks!" the youngster said. Using the novel in his hands, the youngster blew fire on it and then morphed into a black and purple dragon. Aku (that's what we'll call him) hid behind his stand.

"Who are you?" he whimpered.

"Who am I?" the dragon repeated. "Why, I'm the evil Valestrom! Leader of villains! Straight A accounting AP student! Master of all elements! And the most evil person in the universe! Now, do you have any questions?"

Aku looked like as if he didn't hear a word from the Valestrom. "What did you say? I stopped listening to you after you mentioned your name. You don't sound that imitating to me," the ancient mask said.

Valestrom was so mad, that his face was red and smoke came out of his ears. "ARRGH!" he growled. "I think I had it with you! But no matter. You won't interfere with my master plan! Dave, come here!"

A squirrel wearing a monocle, or eyepiece, came out of the circus tent. "Yes, master?" the squirrel said.

"Dave," Valestrom said, "install the underground sling pycnometer." (A pycnometer is a laboratory device.) Dave stuck a pycnometer in the ground. Soon the clouds above in the sky merged together to form a hurricane.

"With this evil machine," said Valestrom, "the entire world will be mine!" He laughs evilly.

"Could you at least doing something other than world domination?" questioned Dave.

"Quiet, Dave, no one was speaking to you," retorted Valestrom

"I must do something about this!" said Aku. He touches the pycnometer and he gets severely electrocuted.

"Sorry," said Dave, "but the psyconometer is off limits. Anyone who touches it will be electrocuted, burned, or frozen and will be cursed.

"CURSED?" Aku repeated. "Well, it can't be that bad." One of his feathers touched a shark tank, causing a hole allowing all of the water to rush out. The shark came out, too, and tried to eat the people at the carnival.

"Oh, no!" said Aku. He turns around and sees that the pycnometer was already in full effect.

"I must warn the others about this! But how?"

Suddenly, he sees a blue bike. He sits on the seat and the seat somewhat explodes. The question is, why Aku would attempt to ride it, but that's beyond me. "Oh well, I guess I'll have to use my kinetic powers."

Aku managed to move the bike, but at a super slow speed. He moved so slowly, a sloth, a turtle, and an old lady on stilts to passed by him.

"Ugh," sighed Aku. "I'll never get them at this speed. I know! I'll call them!"

He goes to a nearby telephone booth. He uses his powers to pick up the phone but snaps the cord off.

"Whoops!" He sees a man walking by. "Um, hello…" he said to the man. "Can you help me out here, please?"

"Sure thing," said the man. "What do you want me to do?"

"Can you use your cell phone to call one of my children?"

The man got out his iPhone from his pocket and Aku told him a phone number. The man then dialed the number and there was absolutely no response.

"Your phone has been motivated to an automatic voice messaging system," the voice said. "Crash Bandicoot (Aku does Crash's voice since we all know Crash speaks gibberish) is unavailable. After the tone, you may leave a voice message or you can press 5 for more options."

The tone was heard. "Hi," Aku said into the phone, "this is Aku-Aku and I have terribly bad news. I somehow triggered this dragon named Valestrom to unleash evil upon the world and now I'm cursed! Meet me at the food stand in the fair. We need all the help we can get! Bye!"

* * *

"Good morning and a cockle-doodle-doo to you all, stunt fans. This is Chick Gizzardlips alongside with Stew," said Chick alongside with Stew.

"Are you excited, Chick?" asked Stew. "Crash Bandicoot will slide down this water slide and into this pool of slime!" The camera did a close-up on Crash. And remember when I said we all know Crash speaks gibberish.

"Well here he goes!" Chick says as Crash goes down the water slide, but made a skidding halt when the pool of slime was being sucked into a truck. Crash starts barking at the foul reporters in gibberish.

"Sorry, little fella," said Stew, "but you're too inexperienced to do this."

Crash got a bazooka, turned it on and chased Stew, who was screaming like a little girl. When the bandicoot cornered Stew, he used the bazooka to pelt Chick with a boatload of Wumpa fruit.

Chick looks at the camera and says, "And that kids, is why you should never play with a bazooka." Stew was still screaming in the background.

Eventually, Crash attacked Chick, including the cameraman and the people inside the truck. All of the sudden a song was heard. It was Hannah Montana's _Nobody's Perfect_ (this is Crash's voice mail ring tone). Crash picks up his cell pick up his cell phone and listened to Aku's voice message. The only thing he could do was to text his young, but intelligent sister, Coco.

* * *

Coco was bouncing in a bounce house, which was filled with foam balls cheering happily. A group of six-year olds who are also in the bounce house stared at her.

"Um, why there is a teenager in this kiddy bounce house?" one asked.

"I don't know," replied another one. "Let's get her!" So they pelted her with foam balls.

"AHH!" screamed Coco. "I'm being attacked by six-year olds!" She heard a ping signaling that she had a text message. She checked it and then tried to text Fake Crash, but her cell phone was taken by a six-year old.

"Hey!" she screamed. "Give it back!"

"I got her cell phone!" the six-year-old said, holding up her cell phone.

"I got her Nintendo DS!" another one said, holding up a pink Nintendo DS.

"I got her McDonalds's $20 gift card!" another one said, holding up a gift card with the McDonald's logo on it.

Suddenly an ice cream truck passed by. The six-year olds dropped everything and trampled over Coco and exited the bounce house and started chasing the truck. Coco picked up her cell phone and went back to texting Fake Crash.

* * *

Fake Crash was up in an airplane with a stunt daredevil.

"Dude," Fake Crash said to the daredevil, "Are you sure this is safe?"

"Of course!" replied the daredevil. "I did this like ten times!"

"Were you severely injured?"

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything? No pain, no gain!"

Fake Crash gulped and said, "Well, here I go!" He jumped out the airplane screaming. He then pulled out his cell phone and checked his text message and went to text message Crunch and was surprised to see the daredevil right next to him.

"Dude," he said, "use your parachute!"

"Okay!" shouted Fake Crash. "1…2…" It was too late. He landed a nearby hospital by the time he released his parachute. "…3," he moaned.

* * *

Crunch was at a hot dog stand waiting for the old hot dog man to fix his hot dog. Unfortunately, he was talking a long time to do it.

"Hurry up, fool!" Crunch hollered at him.

"Don't worry," he told to Crunch, "Just wait a minute." But Crunch picked him up and kicked him into the empty shark tank like a kicker king a football. He then fixed his hot dog himself, grumbling, and got out his cell phone. He checked Fake Crash's text message and went to go and call Von Clutch.

* * *

Von Clutch was at a pitching stand. Kids were looking at him.

"The rules are simple," the vendor told him. "Hit the target to win a prize."

"Can you hit the target, mister?" asked one of the kids.

"Yez! I'm a professional!" replied Von Clutch. He picked up a ball and threw it. The ball landed on the ground five inches away from his feet.

"I did vat on purpose. Let me try again!"

This time he hit the vendor's eye. "Vat waz an accident. One last time!"

He finally hit the target and the black-eyed vendor gave him a teddy bear. Von Clutch's built-in phone rang. After talking to Crunch on the phone, he called Pasadena.

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our Freak show. First up in our show, the albino snapping turtle!" An albino turtle came out and people threw popcorn at it.

"Such cruel people," Pasadena said, looking at them. "Do they even care about freaks?"

Her cell phone rang and it was Von Clutch. He told her to meet him and the others at the food stand.

* * *

Everybody met Aku at the food stand. Fake Crash, however, came in sitting in a wheelchair and had a leg cast. He was holding a Hannah Montana doll in his hand.

"Hey, guys," he said, "check this out. I found this Hannah Montana doll while I was coming here."

"Hey!" Crunch blurted out. "That's Crash's exclusive one of kind Hannah Montana doll-." Everyone near the food stand looked at him.

"…that he f-found…in the…trash!" Crash blushed.

"Wow, Crash," Aku said mortified. "I didn't know you liked Hannah Montana _that _much. Anyways, I have grave news to tell you all…"

End of Chapter 1

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Okay, guys that's a wrap-up! Stay tuned to **Chapter 2: The Misery of Cortex!**

Geary came in with the pizza.

"I got the pizza, guys!" he exclaimed.

Penta and Yaya went to go and get the pizza, but changed their minds.

"I don't like pimento cheese on my pizza!" complained Yaya.

"I don't like jalapenos on my pizza!" complained Penta.

"Oh, well," shrugged Geary. "Enough for me!" He ate the pizza in one big gulp. "Wait a minute! I don't eat pizza, and if I did, I certainly couldn't eat it in one big gulp!"

"_Oops."_


	2. Chapter 2: The Misery of Cortex

Hey, guys! It is CrashGuy01 and here is _Chapter 2: The Misery of Cortex_! Normally, Penta was supposed to be here, but he is hanging out with his friends. Apparently he thinks his social life is more important than my story. That guy... So now I'm stuck with Yaya and Norm – WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?!

There, in the living room, were Yaya and Geary are about to roast one of my books in a fire.

"Good morning, CrashGuy01," replied Yaya. "We're just about to roast one of the books we found in your room."

"And I came up of my new e-mail address!" exclaimed Geary.

"_OUT OF THE LIVING ROOM! NOW!"_Yaya and Norm left the living room.

Sorry about that, guys. Anyways, here is the second chapter in **The Dark Fate**!

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_The bandicoot,_

_incapable of speech,_

_now has a couple of companions_

_to save us from retched evil_

_thanks in part to his guardian._

_He must travel lo and beyond_

_in order to vanquish the evil_

_from our dear island._

_However, he needs more,_

_much, much, more_

_if the bandicoot were to save us all._

_Hark to the bickering_

_should he shall_

_and if not, find a way_

_for much needed assistance._

_This excerpt now shall end_

_As the prophecy is just beginning..._

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**Chapter 2: The Misery of Cortex**

Aku told everyone that happened so far in the tragedy in the last chapter.

"So what you're trying to tell of us," said Crunch.

"Is that an evil dragon named the Valestrom," said Coco.

"Is going to unleash pure evil upon the whole world," said Fake Crash.

"And that anything you touch destroys, all because of your curse," finished Crunch.

"Yes." Aku corrected. He points to others the hurricane that is getting bigger by the second. "Soon that hurricane over there will cover the entire earth. We must go to Gemstone Island."

Everyone looked in confusion. "What's Gemstone Island?" Pasadena asked.

"According to pycnometer that caused this whole mess, I read the copyright label and it said that it was manufactured somewhere in Gemstone Island; there could be a multitude of them there. I also overheard from the squirrel that's where Valestrom resides." (That information was not in the last chapter.)

"A second vought on vat," Von Clutch responded. "HOW DO WE GET VERE?!"

"I haven't thought on that," Aku replied.

* * *

Uka-Uka was waiting for Cortex, who was about to go on a ride.

"What were you thinking?!" Uka barked at Cortex. "What about the airship?!" (from Crash Twinsanity)

"No worries," replied Cortex. "The minions are working on it." Koala Kong came by, holding an ice cream cone.

"Why aren't you working?" Cortex asked him.

"Tropy let us go on strike!" Kong answered happily.

"WHAT?" Cortex and Uka said in astonishment.

"It's true!" said Ripper Roo.

Angry, Cortex gets off the ride and gets even angrier when he sees Pinstripe and the Komondo Brothers holding up picket signs.

Pinstripe held up a sign in red letters: "Up with Uka-Uka. Down with Cortex." Komodo Moe held up a sign that said, "Dr. Neo Cortex is a perverted yellow-head nerd who picks his nose and eats boogers." Komodo Joe held up a sign that said, "Cortex Stinks (literally). Cortex marched up to Pinstripe, who was listening to music on his MP3.

"What is this trash you're listening to?" Cortex grabbed Pinstripe's headphones and listened:

_Hit him with that cobra,_  
_Now that boy slumped over_  
_They do it all for Sosa_  
_You boys ain't making no noise_  
_Ya'll know I'm a grown boy_  
_Your clique full of broke boys_  
_God ya'll some broke boys_  
_God ya'll some broke boys_  
_We GBE dope boys,_  
_We got lots of dough boy_

(The song is called "Love Sosa" by Chief Keef. I don't listen to him or any similar artists; I pulled this lyrics for comedic effect.)

Cortex grimaced as he was listening before quickly taking the headphones out.

"Wow, the genre of that song must really be trash!" he said. "Now where is Tropy?!" Cortex stammered at Pinstripe.

"Over there," answered Pinstripe, pointing to Tropy. Cortex marched over to the scientist.

"I thought I told you to work on the airship!" he thundered at him.

"We were," said Tropy. "But I made a referendum with the others that we won't work until we get paid."

"HA! I will never pay you guys. And besides, I pay you guys $100 a month. Is that not enough?"

"Not from an ugly twit like you."

"I'm not ugly!" barked Cortex. He then approached a girl. "Am I ugly?"

The girl Cortex and kicks him in his weak spot.

"Take that, you ugly pervert!" she said.

"OUCH!" Cortex screamed in pain, hands over his crotch.

"I knew that was going to happen," smiled Tropy.

* * *

Crash and company hid behind a circus tent, watching Cortex on the ground in pain. They tried to run to the airship, but and Dingodile stopped them.

"Dingodile!" said Coco.

Von Clutch gasped.

"That's right, you imbeciles!" said . "Cortex - actually, Tropy - wants us to guard the construction site and we won't let you through—that is, if you know the secret password."

"Never mind that," said Pasadena, "There's something serious going on, and we need the airship."

"What for?"

"An evil dude is trying to take over the world. We need some transportation to find him on some faraway island to stop him."

"But that's Cortex's job! Alright, I guess I could let you through...although Cortex would be greatly disheartened with me if I did. You know what; if you all be beat me, than maybe - just maybe - I will let you through!"

Dingodile got his flamethrower ready.

* * *

Nina and Tiny were at a live concert near Motorworld.

"Nina," Tiny asked, "shouldn't we be working on the airship?"

"Yeah, right," Nina replied. "The minions all got it taken care of."

"What about Cortex?"

"Eh, he wouldn't care anyway."

The performers were about to sing their song when their stereo was struck by lightning (from the hurricane). Soon it started to rain and the concert delayed. Everyone walked away sadly, especially Nina and Tiny, whom went back to the construction site.

* * *

Crunch was finishing tying and Dingodile to the airship after a bloody, vigorous, hard-fought 30-second battle.

"Good work, Crunch!" exclaimed Aku. "Now, before we board the blimp, does anyone have to use the restroom?"

Everyone raised his or her hand. They were just dying to use the restrooms.

Aku sighed and said in a low and demanding voice, "Hurry up."

The gang quickly rushed to their selected restrooms. Fake Crash, however, wandered off and into the females' restroom, where female teenagers ran away.

"Man," Fake Crash said lovingly, watching the teenagers run away, "they dig me." A park drone tazed Fake Crash.

"Sir, you are in the wrong vicinity," he told Fake Crash. "Please go to the mens' restroom."

* * *

Uka and the minions were entering the airship. The gang finally reached Aku.

"Finally!" yelled Aku. "What took you so long?"

"We had to owe that Monopoly guy three bucks for using the restroom," Crunch said, panting.

"And Fake Crash got tazed by the park drones seven times for the eleventh time he's been to the Motorworld," said Coco, also panting.

Nevertheless, Aku was not convinced. "Let's just get inside the airship." Therefore, the gang went inside the airship, just in time before the door closed. Then they walked inside the pilot room, where they saw Uka, Cortex, and the minions.

Uka was surprised to see his goodie two-shoes brother Aku behind him.

"Aku-Aku?" Uka exclaimed. "What are you and your gang doing here?"

"Take us to Gemstone Island once!" Aku commanded him.

"Why should I?"

"Because someone is going to take over the world before Cortex does."

"Are you serious?!" yelped Cortex. "Not unless I have something to do about this! We will go to this Gemstone Island and stop that madman! Is the airship ready?"

Tropy gave a thumbs up from the interior of the airship.

"Great! But first, before we take off, I must give Crash something." Cortex walks up to Crash and hands him a digitized collar.

"Ever since _Twinsanity_, I always wondered if the two of us would have to work together again in the future, and it seems like the time is now. I built this collar only to grant you the ability to talk intelligibly. This is only for your benefit; you can speak English, and I don't have to put up with your unintelligible mutterings!"

Jeers were heard from the Crash gang.

"Don't wear it Crash!"

"It could be a trap!"

Crash put on the collar Cortex gave him, and in an instant, his eyes went huge.

"D-Did it work?" Cortex asked. "Crash, say something!"

"Something?" was the first word to come out of Crash's mouth.

"YES!" cheered Cortex. "It worked!" The others cheered.

"Man, this feels great!" exclaimed Crash.

Cortex walked over to Cortex and tapped his shoulder.

"When does Tiny get collar?" he asked.

"Don't get ahead of yourself," was Cortex's reply.

After the jubilation was over, Aku floated over to Cortex.

"Alright, you gave Crash the collar, your airship is working, now take us to Gemstone Island!" he told Cortex.

"Fine." Cortex picked up an intercom attached to the airship and said:

"Minions, this is and I would like to remind you that Aku-Aku has brought his gang along to the airship. We will be heading to Gemstone Island, and I want you to be on your _best_ behavior." Cortex then put the intercom down.

"Tiny has to pee," Tiny said, holding his urine. Everyone groaned.

**End of Chapter 2**

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_The bandicoot_

_now with the ability to speak_

_will encounter new frontiers_

_with his voice._

_Although it may seem temporary_

_it is still enough for the hero_

_to muster many words_

_he would have never said in the past._

_Now, it is time for him and the others_

_to depart at last._

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Another wrap-up. I sure hope you are ready for **Chapter 3: Blimp My Ride**!

"Hey!" said a voice.

I looked around and I saw N. Brio in my room.

"_How did you get inside my room?"_

"Why am I not in your story?" asked Brio, angry.

"_I do not know. I am still trying to decide how I should use you in the story."_

Crunch barged in and beat up Brio while we sat down and ate popcorn.

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	3. Chapter 3: Blimp My Ride

Hello, my fellow readers! This is CrashGuy01. Today, Penta will fight Nitrous Oxide in a no holds barred match - in a cage!

"Where on earth are we going to find a cage?" asked Penta.

"_You're not fighting in any cage, Penta! Your gonna fight in a giant baby crib!"_

"Ugh."

* * *

_The bandicoot_

_has now set forth_

_to the destination_

_where he will rid us from evil_

_that very destination_

_Gemstone Island._

_He now has a multitude_

_of companions to aid him_

_on his treacherous journey._

_But what surprises awaits_

_for the chosen one?_

_What wonders lie ahead?_

_How will the prophecy be fulfilled?_

_All of this and more..._

_...will be revealed..._

_...eventually..._

* * *

**Chapter 3: Blimp My Ride**

It was 8' clock and it rained and thundered. Inside the blimp, Crash, Dingodile, Tiny, and N. Trance were watching a wrestling program on TV.

"Good night and a cockle-doodle-doo, wrestling fans. Welcome to the WWE; World Wrestling Entertainment," said Chick. "This is Chick Gizzardlips, alongside with Stew, reporting from the stands. Tonight we're about to see which WWE superstars are slated to participate in the annual 30-man battle royale known as the Royal Rumble, in the upcoming Pay-Per-View."

"Hooray!" cheered the delighted wrestling fans.

"So, mate, how does it feel to speak English?" Dingodile asked Crash.

"It feels awesome!" Crash responded.

Soon an announcer guy came inside the square ring. "This match is set for one-fall," he said into the microphone. "Approaching the ring first, from St. Louis, Missouri, weighing 235 lbs, he is the WWE World Heavyweight Champion of the world, Randy Orton!"

Randy Orton came out carrying the two champion belts on his shoulders. The wrestling fans booed.

"And his opponent, Tampa, Florida, weighing 290 lbs, he is the WWE Intercontintental Champion, Big E Langston!" The toned wrestler came out wearing the championship belt around his waist came inside the ring. The wrestling fans cheered for him. Once both wrestlers were in the ring, the bell rang and the match started.

* * *

Tropy walked to his room and when he went inside, he saw Fake Crash and Ripper Roo breaking his stuff.

"Hey!" yelled Tropy. "What are you two doing?!"

"Breaking your stuff," replied Roo.

"Why?!"

"Because there's nothing else to do," replied Fake Crash.

"We're bored," replied Roo.

Tropy sighed then came up of an idea. "I got an idea!" he exclaimed. "Let's pretend that I'm Fake Crash. Maybe some role play would keep you two interested."

"Can I be you?" asked Roo.

"No."

"Can I be a coach?" asked Fake Crash.

"But why?"

"Because coaches are good managers."

"Uh...sure," Tropy let him take the act. "Now let's get this started." He broke Roo's metal folding chair. "Look. I broke your folding chair. What would you do?" Roo used his broken folding chair to knock Tropy out unconscious. Then he piles TNT and nitro boxes on him, which explode on impact.

Roo gasps. "Are you okay, Fake Crash?"

"Tropy," Fake Crash said in a booming voice, "if you don't give me 20 push-ups, you'll be outta the team!" He giggles.

"I hate my life..." moaned Tropy.

* * *

Von Clutch was playing with his teddy bear, making girly noises with it. Pinstripe couldn't stand it anymore.

"AARRGGHH!" he screamed. "I had enough of that stupid bear." So he grabs the stuffed bear and throws it out the window.

"Teddy! No!" Von Clutch cries. He starts sobbing.

"Well, that takes care of him," Pinstripe said, proud of himself. Then, like a miracle, the teddy bear came back like a boomerang and hit the back of Pinstripe's head.

"Teddy!" squealed Von Clutch. "You came back!"

"Ugh," groaned Pinstripe.

* * *

Crunch and the Komondo Brothers were lying on the floor, bored.

"Man, I'm bored," sighed Crunch.

"Me too," said Komondo Joe

"Me three," said Komondo Moe.

"I know!" suggested Komondo Joe. "Let's make-believe we're Canadians."

"Let's make-believe you never even existed," suggested Komondo Moe.

"Very funny," Komondo Joe said sarcastically.

"You fools are not doing make-believe!" Crunch hollered. "We are gonna take it to the extreme by skydiving!"

"And end up like Fake Crash?" said Komondo Joe. "No way!"

"There's always wall climbing," stated Komondo Moe.

"OR we can do that," Crunch agreed with him.

"You go first," Komondo Joe told him.

"Why me?" Crunch asked.

"Because," said Komondo Moe.

"Fine."

So the Komondo brothers gave him their Arabian swords to climb with. When Crunch started climbing the walls of the airship, they were videotaping him with their camera.

"Are you getting this footage?" Komondo Joe asked his brother.

"Are you kidding me?" replied Komondo Moe. "After we're finished filming this, we're gonna put this on YouTube! Crunch will be the next Pewdiepie!"

"Pewdiepie does gaming..."

"What about the next NigaHiga?"

"Just shut up."

When Crunch reached the ceiling, he opened a latch door and went outside, where there was rain and lightning. A lighting bolt almost hit him, and he falls back down, saying the random stuff he fell into.

"AAHH! MOUSE TRAPS!" He gets caught in mousetraps. "AAHH! JELLYFISH!" He falls in a tank of jellyfish, gets electrocuted, and swims out. "AAHH! CACTUS!" He falls in cacti. "AAHH! SCORPIONS!" He falls on a group of scorpions and they pinched his butt. "AAHH! CONVERTER BOX! Why is all of this crap on Cortex's airship anyways?" Crunch asked that question as he fell through the airship.

On the TV screen, they showed Chick Stew being beaten up by security guards, according to a WWE live report. (That's what happens when you sneak inside a live event. Those two should have known better.) Crunch lands on the large converter box and lost the signal for the wrestling program. The wrestling fans in the room seethed with anger.

"Oops," Crunch said innocently, then giggles.

* * *

In the infirmary, Coco was aiding Tropy, Nina was aiding Kong, and Passenda was aiding the beaten up Crunch.

"Ugh," Tropy yawned. "What happened?"

"You were knocked out unconscious by a metal folding chair," replied Coco.

"Oh. Is it bad?"

"Yes, and you'll have amnesia for at least two weeks."

"Great. And all of this wouldn't happened if it wasn't for what's-his-name!"

"You mean Ripper Roo?"

"Whatever."

Pasadena was putting band-aids on the places where the wrestling fans scratched Crunch.

"Good," said Pasadena. "And, while you're busy relaxing, I'll play some High School Musical 3 music for you—"

"MUST DESTROY ZAC EFRON!" yelled Crash. He jumps out of nowhere with his bazooka and uses it to destroy the HSM3 CD and steps on what is left of Zac Efron's face.

"Awkward," Pasadena replied.

Nina puts a thermometer in Kong's mouth and when she pulls it out, she records the temperature.

"Sorry, Kong," she said, "but is looks like you have a cold."

"RATS!" Kong screamed.

"Gee, Kong, you didn't have to scream."

"No! Look!" He pointed and soon Nina saw what he was screaming about. In the corner of the infirmary was an army of rats. They started scurrying around the blimp.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" yelled Crash. Everybody was running around the blimp, screaming and being chased by rats—even Jak and Daxter were there!

"Keep running, Dax!" Jak told Daxter.

"Right behind ya!" said Daxter.

"What are you guys doing in this story?!" asked Fake Crash.

"Never mind them!" replied N. Trance. (forget to mention he's also in the story) "Look! More rats!" More rats appeared, and the duo jumped out the airship (I sure hope they survive.)

Suddenly, the rats join together to form a mob that morphed into a black dragon. It was Valestrom.

**End of Chapter 3**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A wrap-up once again! **Chapter 4: Send In The Clones** is coming soon! Oh, the match…well no one won, really. Both Penta and Oxide forfeited, and Brio who was the referee got beaten up (again).

Jak and Daxter ran past my house, still running away from rats.

"Keep up the pace Dax!" Jak told Daxter.

"Right back at ya!" said Daxter.

I do not own High School Musical 1, 2, and 3, nor will I ever own

I NEVER WILL

(laughs evilly)


	4. Chapter 4: Send in the Clones

Hello, again. This is Chapter 4: Send in the Clones! Got some good news: I got a new "servant"!

Nathan Drake (Uncharted) came in my room wearing a maid suit and holding a cup of tea in his hand. I took a sip out of it, and spit it in his face.

"_**HOW MANY TIMES TELL YOU?! I DON'T LIKE MY TEA BITTER!**_

"I really need to reconsider my life," he moaned.

Penta came in wearing a Strawberry Shortcake dress. (snickers)

"How do you guys like my Halloween outfit?" he asked us.

"Halloween's over," said Nathan.

"Oh, yeah? Well I don't think you got the message either!"

The two of them fight each other and I don't want to type in what's happening, for the story must go on. So here's the fourth chapter!

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following:**

**Barney**

**Soul Train**

**Teletubbies**

**I do own the following:**

**Crash Bandicoot**

**This Story**

* * *

_The bandicoot_

_now face to face_

_with a new, evil foe_

_that his guardian has encountered before._

_The foe is absolutely up to no good,_

_he can tell in the eyes_

_of the hero's companions_

_the fear that overwhelms them._

_They have never seen a villain_

_so evil in their lifetime._

_Is the villain going to let them live_

_or execute something truly vile?_

_What many secrets does this villain have?_

_Does Crash have what it takes to defeat him?_

_And what if he loses?!_

_What about the prophecy?!_

_The prophecy of Gemstone Island!_

_How irrelevant it would be_

_if the bandicoot were to perish_

_along with his companions..._

_Oh, the thought would be dreadful_

_More dreadful than the most dreadful thing on Earth_

_Enough dread to consume us all..._

* * *

**Chapter 4: Send In The Clones**

Everybody stared at Valestrom.

"Who in the world are you?!" asked Crash.

"Who am I?" repeated Valestrom. "Why, I am the evil Dark Master Valestrom! Leader of villains! Straight A accounting AP student! Master all elements! And the most evil villain you've ever met! Now, do you have any questions?"

When he asked for questions, no one was listening to him at all. Everyone was minding their own business. (Even I wasn't listening to this guy's yap!) This made Valestrom _so_ angry his face went from red to bright purple to pitch black.

"ARGHHH!" screamed Valestrom. "I've already had enough ignorance for one day! Dave, where are you?"

Dave teleported to the airship wearing a party hat, carrying a can of whipped cream in one hand, and a slice of cake in the other. "Yes, master?" he said. "I'm sorry, I was at my friend's party."

"So your party is more important than world domination?"

"But there was free food!"

"Dave," Valestrom said in a low, mean voice, "I don't care about what you do, just as long it has something to do with conquering the world. Finish off those imbeciles once and for all. And if you don't, you'll suffer dire consequences."

"Yes, Master," Dave responded as Valestrom vanished, leaving him behind. Dave turned to look at the angry Crash and company.

"Hello," he said evilly. "My name is Dave, and I am Valestrom's trusty apprentice. Now prepare to listen to my _**EVIL THEME MUSIC!**_"

He gets out a boom box and it starts playing his _**EVIL THEME MUSIC**_. Here's how the lyrics go:

_I love you_

_You love me_

_We're as happy as a friend would be_

_With a great big hug_

_And a kiss from me to you_

_Won't you say_

_You love me too_

(If I got the lyrics wrong, tell me in the reviews)

While the _**"EVIL THEME MUSIC" **_(Barney theme song_)_ continued, Dave was trying to turn off the boom box.

"I don't remember this as my _**EVIL THEME MUSIC**_! (Though all the bolding, underlining, and italics weren't necessary.)" he proclaimed. He tried to turn the boom box off, but to no avail. So he throws it out the window and into the water.

"We're gonna take you down, fool!" barked Crunch, and others agreed with him.

"Well, in that case," Dave sneered, "if you want to take me…" He doubles himself in clones. "You'll have to take on my clones!" The clones started scattering around the blimp.

"Let's split up and get those clones!" said Crash. Everyone split up, two people in each group, to get the clones.

* * *

A clone was looking in the freezer when he turned around to see Dingodile with his flamethrower, practically on his own.

"You're going down, mate!" smirked Dingodile. He jumps on top of the freezer. He then uses his flamethrower to set the ceiling light on fire.

"What was the purpose of that?" said the clone.

Suddenly, a lasso lashed out of nowhere and tied up the clone. Then a missile was fired at the burning ceiling, and it collapsed on the clone, as he puffed away in brown smoke.

"Thanks for the assistance, mate," thanked Dingodile. "I was expecting that ceiling to fall on him instantly. But I must ask you, where in blazes did you come from?"

"My mom?" replied N. Trance.

"I know that much, but didn't you fall out of the airship? How did you get back inside?"

"Honestly, I don't even know." N. Trance looks up at the hole he left in the airship. "Shouldn't we fix this hole or something?"

"Let's go to the pilot room and get some metal to fix it, mate," suggested Dingodile.

"Good idea," agreed N . Trance.

* * *

A clone was in Pinstripe's room. He passed a painting of Mona Lisa and the eyes watched him as he moved. The clone then finds a picture of Tawna Bandicoot and picks it up.

"Who's this ugly person?" he wondered out loud.

"_HOW DARE YOU CALL HER UGLY!" _Pinstripe tore through the Mona Lisa painting and started shooting the clone with his Tommy gun.

"I'll be safe behind the couch," said the clone. So he hides behind a couch and sees a bomb. He hides behind the bed and sees another one. He hides behind a trashcan and sees another one. He hides behind a statue of a Greek woman and sees another one. He hides in a box, which was the only place without a bomb, when it explodes. The only thing that was left was brown soot and a brown soot-covered Von Clutch.

"HA!" laughed Von Clutch. "HE FELL FOR MY INVISIBLE BOMB!" He gives Pinstripe a high five.

* * *

A clone was in the arsenal room of the blimp, where Cortex keeps all of his crappy weapons. He sees Cortex's latest invention, a ray gun. Wow.

"Stay where you are!" said a voice. It was Coco, who jumped in the room in her karate pose. Tropy, however, came through the window with his staff.

"Do you know how to work that rusty thing?" Coco asked him. "Especially after that amnesia you got?"

"Sort of," responded Tropy. On his staff were 26 buttons in different colors. He pressed a apricot-colored button and the staff turned into an axe.

"That's the axe button." He pressed a blue button and a bicycle handle popped up out of the staff.

"That's the bicycle button." He pressed a brown button and the staff did a lecture on European rulers.

"That's the czar button. Don't even know how it's effective." He pressed a lightly yellow button and disco ball appears form the ceiling and everyone in the room does the Soul Train Line.

"What's going on?" Coco asked while dancing to the music the staff was playing.

"That's the Soul Train button!" Tropy answered while dancing to the music. "It's highly unstable!"

"Why do you even have it?!"

"I think I remember only using it to torture Cortex whenever I feel like it!"

"I have no time for Soul Train dancing!" said the clone as he danced away.

"Not so fast!" Coco said as she danced over to the ray guns and got one. The clone didn't want to be the only person without a weapon. So he grabs one too. Coco used Cortex's new ray gun and zapped the clone with it, making him vanish in brown dust.

"I can't believe that actually worked," said Tropy. "Most of Cortex's new inventions are usually duds."

* * *

A clone was in what could be the basement of the blimp, cutting several wires. Nina and Crash sneak up on him and start throwing stuff at him.

"Take this!" said Nina throwing a dictionary at him.

"Take this also!" said Crash, throwing N. Gin at him.

"I am NOT a projectile!" yelled N. Gin before hitting the clone.

"Crash, why did you throw a N. Gin at him?!" she asked him angrily. "That was completely uncalled for. What's wrong with you?!"

"Can you take this?" asked the clone, throwing an old radio at Nina and knocking her out.

"Nina! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" sobbed Crash. "Stand back! I know CPR."

"Oh, I can't watch..." N. Gin covered his eyes and turned away.

That's when he gave Nina mouth-to-mouth.

"Is it over?" asked N. Gin.

"Not even close..." replied the clone.

Nina woke back up and kneed him in the retina.

"What were you trying to do?!" she yelled. "You were _this _close to kissing me! Crash?"

Unfortunately, Crash is daydreaming. Let's take a peek at what he's dreaming about…

_Flashback_

In Crash's flashback, Crash was thirty years old. His son perched on his lap.

"Dad," he asked, "how did you and mom meet each other?"

"Well, son," said the thirty year old Crash, "it all started at Neo's airship, at the 10th Dimension…"

Okay…I think we've heard enough.

_End of Flashback_

Where's the clone? Hmph. I guess he got disturbed from the flashback and couldn't stand anymore. I honestly don't blame him. What about you guys?

* * *

A clone was using the bathroom. Fake Crash and Ripper Roo were looking through Cortex's possessions...in a pink-colored suitcase. That guy...

"May I ask you a question, Fake Crash?" asked Roo. "How did you get back inside the airship, when I heard that you and N. Trance fell out?"

"Oh yeah," replied Fake Crash. "Me and N. Trance were hanging unto one of the railings of the airship for dear life until we managed to pull ourselves up into the window. N. Trance was so mortified and scared, he lost track of what had happened. Also, since when did you started to talk clearly all of a sudden."

"It's the collar Cortex gave to Crash. Cortex had made a prototype, and I accidentally ate it."

"Interesting..."

Roo found something peculiar in the suitcase and held it up.

"What's that?" Ripper Roo wondered. "A mini-version of the Psychetron? What would Cortex do with this?"

"Cortex's an idiot, who knows," replied Roo.

Roo then sparked up an idea. They use the Psychetron to drag Evil Crash out of the 10th Dimension (good thinking), just in time when the clone finished using the bathroom. Evil Crash chased him and the other clones around.

"That should keep the clones occupied," said Roo. "Now that the clones are out of the way," said Roo, "I can practice my singing!" Fake Crash covered his ears as Roo instantly hit a high note...

"NO SINGING!" bellowed Cortex.

"Cortex, eat a Snickers," Uka told the scientist.

"What for?"

"You get a _little_ cranky when you're hungry..."

* * *

Inside one of the rooms of the airship, N. Gin is inventing something. Let's get a closer look…closer…closer…closer…

"Back away!" hollered the cyborg.

Fine, Mr. Persnickety. What the heck are you building anyway?

"It's my latest invention, the Warpinator 5002."

What about numbers 5000 and 5001?

"Those stupid Komondo brothers broke them – on purpose!"

Okay…so what does you invention do?

"It can warp anyone in the universe."

Sounds neat.

"Anyways, why does the author not include me in the last three chapters?"

"Why does he not include me as well?" asked Kong, who entered the room after hearing what N. Gin said.

I don't know, maybe he hates you both.

Then the two started crying.

Flashing lights flickered in the room, and when it stopped there was a clone.

"Prepare to die, imbeciles!" he said.

"As you wish." Kong started to groom himself (something he has never done in the video games) as he prepared for his final minutes. N. Gin face-palmed and sighed.

"Wait a minute," he thought. "This could be the perfect time to test out my invention!"

So N. Gin whipped out his Warpinator and shot a green-colored blast at the clone. The clone vanished in an instant.

"Ha ha, it worked!" cheered N. Gin. "But I wonder where that clone was warped too..."

* * *

The clone found himself in a grassland with a few trees scattered about.

"Where am I?" he wondered. Then he saw a group of Teletubbies running towards him. That's right; he's stuck in the TV show. Poor guy...

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" he screamed. "SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!" He began to run away from the titular characters.

* * *

On the deck of the airship Crunch, Pasadena, Tiny, and Kong were doing the finishing touches on the leftover clones.

"That should be all of them," said Coco. Everyone else joined her in the others as they went to the pilot room.

In the pilot room, Dingodile and N. Trance sneaked inside and tip-toed over to the scraps of metal in the corner. Cortex took notice of them.

"What are you two doing?" he asked.

"Where getting some scrap metal so we could fix the big hole we made in the airship," answered N. Trance.

"You made WHAT?!"

"Nice going, you moron!" yelled Dingodile.

"Cortex, the airship!" boomed Uka.

"Oh, yes, sorry," Cortex apologized as he went back to steering the airship. Aku floated over to Cortex.

"So, Aku," said Cortex, "how much farther until Gemstone Island?"

"According to my senses, we're at least a mile away from the destination," replied Aku. Crash and the other characters entered the pilot room.

"We took care of all the clones," he said.

"Good," said Uka. Hopefully we don't have to deal with that Valestrom guy anytime soon..."

A shadowy figure was crawling around the floor and out popped Valestrom.

"Looks like I spoke too soon."

"Hmmmm..." Valestrom took notice of Crash and the others. "It looks like Dave has failed me. Oh well. Looks like he'll just have to suffer his consequences. Time to take over this putrid airship once and for all!" he said.

"No you can't!" thundered Cortex. "I'm the Prince of Darkness! You'll have to go through me if you want to take over my precious airship!"

"You're not," corrected N. Trance. "Besides, there can be only one prince of darkness (Ozzy Osbourne) and you sleep with a night light on."

"Don't tell that in front of the readers. CrashGuy01! Do something!"

"_No, you can handle it yourself." _I said, typing. _"You're the one who told N. Trance your secret."_

"Can you at least delete N. Trance from this chapter?"

"_Noooooooooooo_._ He's important in the story."_

"Tiny want to deleted!" whined Tiny. "Tiny don't want to be in story!"

"_Is that why you didn't help the others rid of the clones?"_

"Pretty much."

Can we _**PLEASE **_continue with the story?

"Fine, Mr. Snippy." Pinstripe said sarcastically. "If you're gonna be like that, then I'm leaving."

You can leave...once the story ends.

"D'oh!"

"I just had about enough of this foolishness!" Valestrom said. "I must destroy this airship!" He presses a self-destruction button.

"There's a self-destruction button?!" roared Uka. "Installed in the airship?! Cortex, are you stupid?!"

Cortex did nothing but cower in fear, whimpering like a baby.

Anyways, after the button was pressed, a disco ball pops up from the ceiling and everyone in this chapter except for the clones does the Soul Train Line.

"Not again!" groaned Coco.

"What is the meaning of this?!" roared Valestrom.

"Now why do you even have that button installed?!" Uka asked Cortex.

"Uka, there are a myriad of things that you don't know about me," was Cortex's reply.

So they press another one.

"SELF-DESTRUTION SEQUENCE STARTING IN 10…9…8…6…5…4…3…2…1…GOODBYE."

Valestrom disappeared, leaving Cortex and Uka behind. The engine blew up as the airship set on fire and hurtled towards an –

"Don't forget to review!" surprised Penta, ruining the most suspenseful moment.

"_Penta!" _I hollered. _"You are ruining the most suspenseful moment of the story!"_

"Fine, Mr. Persnickety."

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, the airship set on fire and hurtled towards an innocent plane. The two aerial vehicles crash towards the ground leaving an enormous explosion. Valestrom watched from above, flying, as Dave flew over to him via propeller.

"And where were you?" he asked.

"Back at the party?" Dave answered.

"WHY?"

"It's my friend's birthday. My friend's name is Melody. I promised to her I would be at her party."

"And how do you know this Melody person?"

"She goes to the same school I do. You know? That's were we met, and also were you and me met."

"I see...Come with me to my lair. I have something in store for you..."

Now where was I? Oh, yeah. With the airship and plane exploding, everyone dies, the chapter is over (finally), and I can quit this stinkin' job as narrator and find another occupation in these hard, economical times, like working at a gas station or selling lemonade or even–

"_Geary!" _I scowled.

I was just kidding!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_The bandicoot_

_appears to be_

_all but alive..._

_But, the prophecy!_

_Could it be!_

_No it cannot!_

_'Tis impossible!_

_The prophecy is ruined!_

_Gemstone Island is surely_

_in evil hands_

_if the bandicoot is not alive_

_all is dreary,_

_extremely dreary..._

**End of Crash Bandicoot: The Dark Fate**

"_Penta…"_

"Okay, I'm changing it!"

**End of Chapter 4**

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Holiday-themed chapter, coming soon!

(No Crash Bandicoot characters or clones were harmed in the making of this chapter. Or at least I hope...)


	5. Chapter 5: A Crash Christmas Carol

Ni Hao, everyone! As you may know, Christmas is coming very soon. So, I'm gonna do a Crash Bandicoot Special, which will be an exciting chapter! Also, there's some Christmas songs I would recommend at the bottom; I would advise you to check them out!

Lara Croft (Tomb Raider) came inside my room with Penta hugging her leg.

"Will someone please get rid of this dumb penguin?" she complained. "He keeps on asking me for my autograph."

"Whose autograph…-." Geary enters my room and stares lovingly at Lara. "Whoa, momma. Er…you may think this is awkward, but…can we get an arranged marriage?"

"What's going on?" Nathan Drake entered. "And why are you touching my girlfriend?!" (Yes, Nathan and Lara are a couple.)

The ticked-off Nathan hits Geary's funny bone.

"My funny bone!" yelped Geary. "Can we go on to the story, please?"

* * *

_The bandicoot,_

_who, in a depressing,_

_but scarring moment_

_appeared to fall to his quick demise_

_in a crash of sorts._

_If he were to be dead,_

_the prophecy would not be fulfilled._

_The island would be in grave danger_

_much more danger than anyone else_

_would have ever imagined._

_Let us all hope _

_that the chosen one_

_and his companions_

_are still with us._

_Let us hope..._

* * *

**Chapter 5: A Crash Christmas**

Crash, Coco, Cortex, Aku, Uka, and a few minions were lying on the ground, unconscious. Cortex was the first to wake up, and so were the minions. All of their faces were covered with dirt and bruises. Soon Crash woke up, and the minions woke up shortly after.

"Ugh…where are we?" he moaned, with the fact he lost his two front teeth (not a good start for a Christmas special).

Aku woke up. "Is everyone okay?" he asked.

Then Coco woke up and limped to the others. "Doesn't look like it," she replied. "I don't think the people in the plane were that lucky to survive..."

Uka woke up and got angry at Cortex. "You fool!" he roared at him. "How did you crash into that plane?!" (Guess he forgot that Valestrom was responsible for the crash and he blamed it on Cortex.) "And how come we're still alive?!"

"Um…err…" the N head stuttered, trying to think of an excuse. "I-I-I-I h-had t-t-t-t-t-to go-go t-t-to-"

"SILENCE!" Uka screamed so loud that the earth rumbled.

"Hold up, brother!" Aku commanded. "Is this...Gemstone Island?"

"Why does it matter? We're abandoned in some stupid forest. Cortex you better help find our way through that forest up ahead or I'll incinerate you!"

"Don't fret, guys," assured Crash. "Luckily I'm the forest expert!"

So Crash guided everyone into the forest.

* * *

At Valestrom's secret lair, Dave walked through the main hall. In the last chapter, you've read that if Crash and company weren't goners, he will suffer dire consequences. (That's why you should never, EVER skip chapters.) He entered Valestrom's room, trembling.

"Dave, you've failed me," muttered Valestrom. "And as your punishment, you'll scrub the bathrooms with your toothbrush, and sweep the floors without any materials required to do so."

"Those are the dire consequences?" said Dave.

"It's the best I could think of."

"Wow you suck-"

"Either you do your chores or I will give you boat loads more!" Valestrom bellowed. Dave scampered out of the room.

Valestrom sat down and pulled a drink of Red Bull. (It gives you wings.) He then pulled out a remote and turned on the TV. A turquoise and orange dragon, was on the screen.

"Hello, Chantex, my friend," snarled Valestrom. (These two are working together, by the way.) "Your student, Dave, has failed me yet again. Surely you wouldn't mind if I 'borrow' two more of your students?"

"Yes, Valestrom," snarled Chantex. "But what for?"

"To put an end to Christmas, once and for all!"

"Sounds daring. But I like it! I'll send you two of my students right away."

Chantex pressed a button, and a chameleon and a zebra teleported in front of Valestrom.

"I'ts a fine gratification to meet you, Dark Master," greeted the chameleon. "Accredit me to ventilate ourselves. My name is Charles Chameleon the 3rd, and he is Zeferino. He doesn't articulate that much."

"Ciao," responded Zeferino.

"Thanks for giving me your minions, Chantex," thanked Valestrom. "I just know that you'll get a very, _very_, VERY good report from these two."

"I sure hope so." Chantec bowed his head in dismay as Valestrom turned off the TV.

"Here's your 'Christmas Doomsday' to-do-list." Valestrom gave Charles and Zeferino a list and a greenish-grayish scepter.

**Christmas Doomsday To-Do-List:**

**Hide the reindeer**

**Destroy the presents**

**Enslave the elves**

**Use the scepter to turn Santa Claus into a zombie**

**Fill all the stockings with coal**

**Transfer everybody's name on the nice list to the naughty list and everybody's name on the naughty list to the nice**

**Burn all Christmas trees and house decorations**

**Eat all the Christmas candy (if you can)**

"When you go outside, you'll see your sleigh and 'reindeer'. Don't fail me!"

So the two went outside in the snow-enclosed forest, where they saw their sleigh and the "reindeer", which were robots.

"Yip!" Zeferino whipped whipped one of the 'reindeer' and the 'reindeer' magically flew off to the North Pole.

* * *

Crash and co. was still in the forest. In fact, they were actually walking around in circles.

"We've been walking around in circles!" complained Aku.

"And you said you were an expert!" Coco slapped Crash.

"Okay, I lied," admitted Crash. I'm not a forest expert at all."

"Why did you lie to us, Crash?!" Now Coco was choking him.

"Keep on doing that. It feels good."

"Stop, Coco!" thundered Aku. "We don't have to trust Crash. We can ask those two elves if they know a way out of the forest."

Two elves passed by, holding two presents.

"You two! Do you know how to get out of this forest?" asked Uka.

"Gemstone Forest?" said one of the elves.

"Ho ho, looks like we're actually on Gemstone Island!" said Aku in jubilation. "I knew we made it! Can you boys help us through?"

"Heck, yeah!" replied one of them, named Tingle. "You just go over the bridge and through the woods to…wait, wait, that's Grandma's house…to get out of this forest…well…you can't."

"WHAT?" everyone said in disbelief.

"To get out of this forest," said the second one, Jingle, "you can ride on our miniature sleigh! It seats about 15 people!"

So everyone got on the sleigh and they took off.

* * *

Charles and Zeferino finally reached the North Pole.

"We've finally made it," said Charles. "According to our inventory, we must secrete Santa's reindeer."

"Where?" asked Zeferino?

The duo found the actual reindeer to their right and they dug a hole big enough to put them in and covered the hole with snow so no one would notice.

"That's one commission done. Only seven more to execute!"

* * *

The two elves and everybody else were riding peacefully on the sleigh. Crash and company looked down at Gemstone Island.

"So this is Gemstone Island, eh?" he said. "This is one massive island!"

"It's so big..." added Coco. "Why isn't it on the map?"

"No one knows, apparently," Tingle replied.

Suddenly, they heard a phone rang. Tingle pulled out what could possibly be an iPod Touch and answered.

"Hello, who is it? Oh, it's just you Kringles. Whaddaya mean there are intruders in the workshop? Christmas is coming soon!" This really hit Cortex. "I'm comin'." He hangs up and turns towards the others. "Sorry, guys, but there's somethin' up at the workshop. Gotta see what's up. Full speed ahead!" The sleigh went five times faster than before.

"Oh, crudmuffins!" blurted out Cortex. "It's almost Christmas! I forgot to make Nina a homemade present, since I spent all my money on my minions. _And _used half of my life savings to pay my Uncle Periwinkle's light bill.

"Where is Nina anyway?" Crash questioned.

"Have no fear, Cortex!" N. Trance said bravely. "For Nog Trance is here to save the day!"

"Nog _who_?" wondered Coco.

"Nog Trance!" N. Trance pressed a button on his suit to reveal a green-and-white superhero suit. "I defeated my arch-enemies with my superpower of nog!"

"Who did you defeat, anyway?" asked Crash.

Nog Trance looked around suspiciously.

In the dense fog, everyone could see the North Pole and the workshop. The sleigh safely landed and everybody entered the workshop.

"Well that was quick," said Aku.

* * *

Inside the toy factory of the workshop, Charles lighted a candle and set the toys on fire. Yes, even the video games.

"Not _Halo 4_!" cried one of the elves, which was Kringles. "I never got a chance to play the game!" Zeferino held the scepter over their heads. "Oh dear, oh dear…"

* * *

Crash and co. arrived at the factory.

"We made it," panted Jingle. "Now tell me what's…going…on…" The tone of his voice lowered when he saw his elf friends as zombies. "Oh my…"

"Charge!" Zeferino commanded the zombiefied elves (with his specter) to attack Crash and co.

"We can't just stand around here!" said Komodo Moe.

"We must make haste!" Komodo Joe said.

Soon everyone was fighting the elves. Crash used his spin move, Coco used her karate moves, Cortex used his ray gun, Pinstripe used his gun, Roo used TNT boxes, Kong used his legs, Tiny used his arms, the Komodo Bros used their swords, N. Gin used his Warpinator 5002, Tropy used his staff, and both Aku and Uka used their energy attacks to fight off the elves. N. Trance, however...

"Let Nog Trance defeat these zombies!" Nog Trance pulled out a large water gun filled with nog and squirted it at the zombies, which turned them back into elves.

"That was a pretty neat move, Trance!" said Crash.

"Tiny didn't even beat up one elf yet!" complained Tiny.

"C'mon, Tiny, you're much better than that!" said Coco.

Suddenly, there was a random flashing light, and everyone passed out.

* * *

Crash and co. opened their eyes and noticed that they were inside a jail cell made of candy canes.

"Compliments, Crash Bandicoot and associates," smirked Charles. Allow me to ventilate my collaborator and me. My name is Charles Chameleon the 3rd, and he is Zebrahead. He doesn't articulate that much."

"Ciao," Zebrahead smiled.

"In case you're yearning to discern why we're doing this, our master - or should I say, teacher - Chantex has sent us to Valestrom so that we can raze Christmas for good."

"But don't you like Christmas?" asked Crash.

"Not anymore. Especially when Chantex gives us presents on a weekly basis!"

"How come you don't do that, Aku?" Coco asked.

"Coco, I am _not_ a millionaire," replied Aku.

"And now," Charles continued, "we are going to consume _all _the candy in this room!" He and Zeferino began to eat the candy behind them.

"What are we gonna do now?" whimpered one of the elves, Bingle.

"Save Christmas!" grunted Tiny as he tried to eat the candy cane bars, only to break all of his teeth. "Tiny give up."

"I'm not!" said Crash, confident. "We're gonna save Christmas, even if we're stuck in a cell, I'm not giving up!"

"He's right, mate," agreed Dingodile. "Let's work together!"

"Yeah!" chanted everyone in the cell.

"Intone all you want, bandicoot and friends!" sneered Charles. "You have no chance to stop us!"

In a split nanosecond, Crash spinned the cage, breaking it in the process; causing Charles to Zeferino to gasp in shock. Crash then grabbed Charles by the neck. And for good measure, Crash spun Zeferino.

"Please don't eradicate me!" begged Charles. "I have a girlfriend!" (He made that up.)

* * *

At Valestrom's lair, Valestrom walked through the hallways of his lair, only to step on a shard of glass.

"What is this doing here?" he said. He looked to his left and saw that the bathrooms were still unclean; a dead giveaway that Dave had not done what he was told to.

"DAVE!"

* * *

After the brutal beating, Crash thrashed Charles at the wall. Charles was bleeding.

"Let's get out of here," Charles told Zeferino as the duo left the room. Zeferino left behind his staff, as a furry hand quickly grabbed it without anyone looking.

"Are you okay, Crash?" Coco ran up to Crash.

"Yeah, I'm alright," replied Crash. "That Charles dude really put up a fight."

Suddenly, a fire rose in front of everyone. The fire morphed into a Jamaican teenager that appeared to be around Crash's age. He had short black dreads, an orange Jamaican hat, a Jamaican striped shirt with red and orange stripes, and black sweatpants.

"Who the heck are you?" asked Coco.

"The name's Keyon," answered the Jamaican, who obviously spoke in a Jamaican accent. "I am a undergraduate of Chantex's Preparatory School of Scientific Studies, mon. Chantex sent me out to 'check on you', make sure that you weren't stopping my fellow classmates, Charles and Zeferino, from completing their task..

"We just did that," Crash pointed out.

"In that case..." Flames surround Keyon's body as he fires a blast of fire out of his hands. Everyone jumped out of the way. "Burn, baby, burn!"

"Group huddle!" Crash called out, and everyone got in a huddle. "This guy is absolutely up to no good. Looks like he has the power to control fire."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Cortex said sarcastically.

"He wants to burn us alive!" The response of Kringles caused many others to shiver in fright.

"Any ideas, Nog Trance?" Coco asked Nog Trance, who was bundled up in the corner and sucking his thumb, which he doesn't have, so he must be sucking on his robotic hand. "Guess not."

Keyon this time blows fire out of his mouth. Everyone dodged his attack.

"I got an idea!" Ripper Roo grabs a nearby shovel and starts shoveling, with the shovel in his mouth.

"This better be a good idea..." muttered Tropy.

"We can go through here!" Roo told everyone.

"I don't think so." As Roo jumped down the hole, Keyon blew fire inside said hole, causing Roo to jump about and hop about with his butt on fire.

"IT BURNS!" he screamed.

"Hey, Jamaican boy!" Keyon turns around to see Nog Trance. "Take this!" Nog Trance then fires nog at Keyon. The flames around Keyon went up in smoke.

"Great, now my powers aren't working!" he complained. "Thanks a lot, mon!"

Angered, Keyon jumps out of a window and runs outside, where he was surprised to see Zeferino and a bruised Charles on their sleigh.

"Get in!" said Charles. So Keyon hopped in, and after a whip, the three rode away on their sleigh.

"Now what do we do with the sweet, tasty, yummy candy..." said Nog Trance…I'll stop."

"We'll just leave the candy here," decided Aku. "We have more matters to deal with now!"

* * *

Back at the toy factory, our heroes and villains notice something odd about the toy soldiers – they were alive (and evil)! Everyone had a chance to beat up a few – that is, except for Aku, who got knocked out at the start. Crash spins a crate with his head on it.

***Congratulations! You have won an extra life.** *

"An extra life?" wondered Crash. "This is a fanfic, not a video game!" A toy soldier sneaks up on and touches Crash, and now Crash is an angel, flying to heaven like I did in one of my weird dreams, wondering what fate he will face on Judgment Day. A few seconds later, he returns back to the factory with zero lives, and he spins a crate with Aku on it, and now Aku gains consciousness.

"Thank you, Crash," thanked Aku, but now Crash spin another crate, this time with a ? mark on it, revealing wumpa fruit and ate them so fast he chokes on one of them, clutches his neck, and dies, now the chapter is over now that Crash his dead – huh? I have to start this chapter all over again?! Great. Do these people not know that this is not a video game – it's a fanfic?! Gee, wiz, people these days…Let's see, everyone wakes up from their unconsciousness…blah blah blah (stupid red lines on _Word_)…Dave gets punished…blah blah blah…Valestrom meets Charles and Zeferino…blah blah blah…Crash and co. meet two elves…blah blah blah… N. Trance becomes Nog Trance…blah blah blah…Nog Trance turns the elves back from zombies…blah blah blah…Crash steals off Charles, badly…ah, here we go! Crash spins another crate with a ? mark on it, revealing wumpa fruit and ate them _slowly_, which gave him another life. He now beats up the remaining toy soldiers.

"Time to save Santa Claus!" announced Cortex as they head to Santa's room.

The crew reached Santa's room. They noticed squirrel footprints as they entered. They also found Santa Claus in his chair, and when he turned around, they were amazed – Santa was a zombie! The fat jolly old fellow then pulled out grayish green candy canes and threw them in the elves' mouths, turning them back into zombies.

"Eat eggnog, zombies!" Nog Trance threw eggnog into the zombies' mouths, but it had no effect. "Guess they were stronger than we thought they would be."

"You guys stay right here!" ordered Komodo Moe.

"Me and Moe are going to get our _secret weapon_!" added Komodo Joe. The two komodo dragons went to go to get their secret weapon.

* * *

The Komodo brothers came back with a supernatural book.

"This always works in the movies!" stated Joe.

"Where did you even get that book?!" questioned Pinstripe.

"It was in Joe's stomach," answered Moe. "It got stuck in the organ, so we had to get it out."

"We haven't used it since the incident!" added Joe.

"..."

"Let me do this," Crash said as he snatched the book from Moe's chanted words that sounded a little "supernatural". Santa and the elves returned to normal.

"How could I be so stupid?!" Nog Trance slapped his hand on his face.

"That's Cortex's role, not yours," implied Tropy.

"Shut up!" retorted Cortex. N. Gin giggled.

"How could I ever repay you guys?" asked Santa. "Thanks to you all, Christmas still has yet to be saved! Now where is that squirrel brat..."

"There was a squirrel in your room?" said N. Gin.

"Yes, I think so. He's the one that turned me into a zombie with that specter thing. He also asked me that I give him world domination for Christmas, or something along the line of that."

"Didn_An_'t that specter to that Zeferino dude?" Coco questioned. The others shrugged.

"As my gratitude, I'll transfer your names from the naughty list to the nice list." Santa Claus gets his nice/naughty list. "Humph. Your names _are _on the nice list. In that case, you can do me another favor. I need you to go to the island of misfit toys and bring the toys here."

So the crew went outside to find their sleigh, but no reindeer.

"Where's Santa's reindeer?" wondered Pinstripe.

"You guys," Cortex told his minions. "There's always a plan B!"

So Aku tied up the minions to the ropes, only to give them rope burn.

"IT BURNS!" hollered Roo.

"Shut up, Roo, nobody cares about how you feel," said Cortex.

"Nog Trance, to the rescue!" Nog Trance poured eggnog on Roo, cooling him down.

"Let _me _tie up the reindeer." Coco tied up the minions to the half-singed ropes and got on the sleigh with Crash, Cortex, Aku and Uka, and they took off.

* * *

_And so,_

_our heroes set off_

_to accomplish one task_

_to save Christmas_

_(as best as they can)_

_from being exterminated._

_But how, oh how,_

_could you dispose of such_

_a wondrous holiday_

_like Christmas?_

_There are more questions than answers,_

_that's for sure._

* * *

In the middle of the flight, the sleigh fell apart, piece-by-piece, and everyone crashed into the Island of Misfit Toys.

"I blame Aku and his curse," blamed Crash.

"What does my curse have to due with anything?" asked Aku. "I was hardly even on the sleigh!"

The crew looked up to see a humongous monster towering above their heads. It was made from candy canes.

"We're doomed," whimpered Coco.

* * *

Charles, Zeferino, and Keyon flew over the houses of the New York suburbs. They went to each house and stuffed each stoking with coal and Keyon burned the Christmas decorations with a flame that relied on no scent. Once they entered the next house, Charles' phone rang.

"Hello, Chantex," he said into the phone. "You want us to return to the school? Alright, then. No, I haven't seen Dave either. Don't worry, we'll be there shortly, once we finish our jobs." After Charles hanged up his phone, Zeferino screamed in horror.

"What's the matter, mon?" asked Keyon.

"Specter!" Zeferino screamed.

"He must have left the specter Valestrom gave to him at the North Pole!" said Charles.

"That can't be good..." said Keyon.

* * *

Back at the Island of Misfit Toys, the Candy Cane Monster grabbed everyone by his mouth and flinged them at the iceberg.

"Let's work together!" announced Crash, which got everyone back on his or her feet. "Aku, find the monster's weak point!"

"Why me?" asked Aku. "My curse might ruin everything!"

"Because you're more intelligent than Uka," replied Coco. "_And _you don't throw tantrums and call other people names like Uka does."

"Watch your mouth, craven!" gnarled Uka.

Aku gulped and scanned the monster. "Its temples are the weak point," he replied.

"So we attack the temples. Cortex, shoot the temples."

"I'm on it!" Cortex whips out his jetpack and uses it to fly up to the monster's mouth and shot it. It was no use; the monster kept moving around. "I need a distraction to keep it stationary."

"Tiny, distract the monster."

"Will do!" Tiny hops about in place, grabbing the monster's attention and giving Cortex the chance to shoot the monster.

* * *

Charles, Zeferino, and Keyon burned down all the decorations and Christmas trees in New York. With their job done, they went back to Valestrom's lair with a good report.

"See? Told you they would do a good job destroying Christmas!" The Dark Master told Chantex.

"In New York," reminded Chantex. "But, I guess they did a decent job. You two can come back now."

Charles teleported with Keyon and Zeferino back to the preparatory school.

* * *

The jaw of the Candy Cane Monster fell off, and Coco used her Sticky Lightning Gun to glue the monster to one place.

"My turn!" Crash spins the jaw, breaking it. Midst the breaking, N. Gin shot the monster in his hip with his Warpinator (it includes rockets) while Roo threw dynamite. They were close to killing the monster.

"Our turn!" The Komodo brothers cut off the monster's legs with their swords, and all the weight fell on them. Pinstripe sighed and made a hole with his Tommy gun big enough for the overweight Komodo dragons to get out off. With the hole wide open, Dingodile inserted his flamethrower inside and Tropy attached his staff to the flamethrower.

"I may have amnesia," he said, "but I do know how to work this thing, for your information, Coco." Coco just rolled her eyes.

"Just don't press 'the button'", Coco responded.

"Yeah, Tropy!" cheered Pinstripe. "You can do it! Knock us dead! (I really didn't mean it. Don't actually kill anyone.)"

Tropy pressed a white button and the monster exploded in a flurry of flames. Everyone oohed and ahhed.

"At least he didn't try to kill us like last time," joked Cortex.

"You saved us!" A jack-in-a-box and many other misfit toys came by. "You freed us from that vicious monster that the squirrel sent upon us!"

"It's nothing," said Crash. "What are your names, anyway, and how did you end up here?"

"My name is Charlie-in-the-Box," introduced the jack-in-a-box. "I'm not really a misfit toy." (yeah, right)

"But your name is Charlie!" said Cortex.

"I'm Sue," introduced a doll. "I'm so unloved."

"You're just exaggerating."

"I'm Trainer," introduced a blue train. "As you can see, I have square wheels."

"Sucks to suck."

"I'm Bill the Airplane," introduced a blue airplane. (came up of a name for him) "I can't fly."

"So why are you a plane then?"

"I'm the Spotted Elephant," introduced a polka-dotted elephant. "I have spots..."

"There's absolutely nothing wrong with that!"

"And I'm Boomer the Boomerang!" introduced an orange boomerang. "When my owner throws me, I never come back!" Tiny throws the boomerang and he never came back.

"Now THAT's funny."

Then the toys sang the _We're A Couple of Misfits_ song in the _Rudolph _special.

"Man, I hated the 1969 version of this crummy song," groaned Roo.

"What is wrong with you, that song is a classic!" N. Gin contested.

Everyone except for Roo was so into the song that the remnants of the Candy Cane Monster merged together to form a Candy Cane Nymph!

"Here we go again," sighed Coco.

The misfit toys ran away.

"Come back!" Crash and the others ran after the toys.

* * *

Crash and the others rounded up the fraidy-cat misfit toys.

"I'm scared," whimpered Sally.

"Don't be scared," assured Crash. "A wise old man once told me, 'You should not be scared, for fright is less denser than bravery.'

"What strong words," complimented Trainer. "Who was that man?"

"Eh, made him up."

"Let's do this, misfit toys!" announced Charlie.

"Yeah!" complied the misfit toys, including Boomer, who finally came back.

So the toys marched to the Candy Cane Nymph, non-reluctant. The nymph roared, but the toys weren't afraid, not even one bit.

"Give me a boost, Sue!" Sue picked up Charlie and threw him into the Nymph's eye.

"Hey, big, mean, and butt-ugly, over here!" The nymph turned around and the elephant threw Bill at his eye. Trainer tried to trip the nymph over by moving around.

Sue jumped on the nymph and made him fall on the ice. The elephant drank the water through his snout and squirted it at the monster. Finally Charlie threw Boomer at the nymph, ending the edible dryad for good.

"Hooray!" cheered the toys.

After the victorious cheer by the toys, a sandstorm brewed.

"What on earth is going on?!" panicked Aku.

"It isn't normal to have a sandstorm in the arctic!" Charlie yelled.

Suddenly everyone except for Crash disappeared as the storm brewed harder and harder, leaving the teenage bandicoot alone with Dave standing across from him. It's like as if they were trapped inside a sandy tomb.

"Alright, Dave, what do you want?!" asked Crash.

"World domination, of course," replied Dave.

"You were responsible for the monster, weren't you?!"

"I was also responsible for turning Santa into a zombie too!"

"I see you're definitely up to no good."

"Yep, that's right. And once I overthrow Valestrom AND Chantex, the world will be mine for the taking!"

"Wait, you're gonna do what?"

Dave faded away like sand breezing in the wind.

"Come back here!" Crash ran up to Dave, but the evil squirrel was already gone.

Suddenly the sand converged on Crash, and now he's stuck in some realm of darkness, something like that, and he looks down to see what he's standing on, which appears to be a mirror-like platform. There was white and turquoise armor scattered about, and they magically joined together to form white and turquoise armor. Crash spinned them off the platform, and a hologramical pedestal of a badger in multi – colored robes appeared.

"Greetings, Crash Bandicoot," it said. "I'm Grantor, and I've seen your great battling techniques and unique skills."

"Gee, thanks," blushed Crash.

"I have brought you here to alert you about something." Grantor paused. "You'll have to fight one, no wait, TWO forces to complete your journey and free the world from darkness."

"Who is this new force?"

"Another numinous dragon named Chantex. He groomed at least eighteen graduates of his preparatory school - all with special powers - to be evil villains, and sent them after you, your friends, and the enemies whom you are working with. You know Charles, Zeferino, and Keyon? All three of them are one of the eighteen. It is predestined that you, Crash, could save us all from this lunacy."

"You really think so?"

"I'm affirmative."

With that, Crash teleported away in a beam of light –

"Hold on!" Crash teleported back to Grantor.

"What is it?" asked the bandicoot.

"You know who Dave is, right? He's one of the graduates as well."

"Uh yeah, we crossed roads a few times."

"That squirrel is highly capable of taking over the world before Valestrom and Chantex get the chance to. He even knows a special source that will help him in doing so. Tell the others that you must track him down. You'll have to go to the preparatory school if you have to. There is no telling of what vile tasks he will accomplish on his own."

"I'll tell 'em once I see them."

As I was saying: With that, Crash teleported away in a beam of light, all the way back to the Island of Misfit Toys. Everyone returned, too, and they just stood there. Silence.

"Where were you guys?" Crash was the first to speak out. There were random comments.

"I was in the future!"

"I was in Super Mario World!"

"I was in my small intestine!"

"I was on top of some sort of mirror," Crash spoke out. "There I met this badger guy named Grantor, and he told me that we should hunt down Dave. That badger said that he would dominate the world on his own."

"Well we better find him soon," said N. Trance. "That guy's a..."

"N. Trance, we don't use that word in a K+ fanfic," Cortex reminded him.

"Awwwww..."

"Also, the badger said that a dragon named Chantex that's working alongside with Valestrom."

"Looks alike another dragon who's butt we have to kick to save the world," groaned Coco. Everyone except for the toys groaned too due to the fact they have to beat up another villain.

* * *

_And so,_

_our hero, Crash Bandicoot_

_has met the mysterious Grantor._

_Why has he summoned the hero_

_in the first place?_

_What are his intentions?_

_Better question yet,_

_what are the intentions_

_of the squirrel, Dave?_

_Despite the ironic name,_

_the furry creature is surely_

_up to no good._

_Overthrowing two other evil forces?_

_That's pure evil._

_Yet, it is up to Crash_

_and his companions - _

_now heroes - _

_to stop the furry madman._

* * *

Crash and co., including the toys, returned to the North Pole. Aku, for some reason, was controlling the sleigh, causing it to set on fire and crash towards the snow, revealing the reindeer.

"We can breathe again!" inhaled Blitzen.

"Thanks a bunch," thanked Dasher.

"You're welcome," said Coco, sooty.

Santa and the elves came by.

"Ho ho ho!" he bellowed."You've saved Christmas! I knew I could trust you!"

"Could you repay us?" Coco moved out of the way to reveal the misfit toys.

"So you brought me the toys! I'll fix them nice and neat for Christmas. Here's your reward!"

Santa gave the saviors of Christmas gifts, which they all opened: Crash got a pair of underwear and Coco got a laptop. Cortex and the minions? They all got coal.

"We would get coal, wouldn't we?" said Tropy.

"I sure hope I'll find Nina a present before Christmas," hoped Cortex.

"Like this?" Santa gave Cortex an iPad.

"She'll love this! Thanks, Santa!"

"Don't mention it."

Tingle walked up to Crash, Cortex, Coco, and the witchdoctor brothers and used pixie dust to transport them back to Gemstone Forest (the minions offered to help Santa Claus).

"Is all the damage reversed?" Santa asked Jingle.

"Everything's back to normal," replied Jingle. "Even the houses that were wrecked in New York are back to normal, thanks to my pixie dust. Christmas is saved!"

* * *

Crash and company arrived back in Gemstone Island.

"I'll be the guide," Coco told Crash.

"Look!" Crash pointed at the sky and there was Santa riding his sleigh.

"Merry Christmas!" he bellowed. "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

**End of Chapter 5**

* * *

My fifth chapter done already! **Chapter 6: Forest Fumble** will be updated around sometime.

**Merry Christmas!**


	6. Chapter 6: Forest Fumble

Ciao, everyone! Before I start the chapter...

-I have a forum named the **CrashGuy01 Comedy Warehouse**. (We have 10 CB forums!)

-I also have a community called **Good Humor Bandicoot,** containing many humorous stories.

Yaya came into the room.

_"What is it?"_

"Penta's acting up again," she replied.

_"What did he do this time?"_

"He ran around the house, used your toothbrush, deleted your file on CTTR, and even wetted himself." The crazed penguin ran around screaming like a lunatic moonbat.

_"Yaya, start the chapter. Quick."_

* * *

_The bandicoot_

_now arrived on Gemstone Island_

_set to begin his journey_

_to defeat the evil that tries_

_to dominate our world._

_But hark, are there other heroes_

_that could possibly be_

_affiliated to Crash._

_Why yes, yes there are._

_There is one, with green skin,_

_a cyborg, with a German accent._

_And another, a bandicoot,_

_that strongly resembles Crash_

_but is immensely ugly._

_Could they be a part of_

_the told prophecy?_

* * *

**Chapter 6: Forest Fumble**

(Note: Due to continuity, this chapter is set on December 24.)

Von Clutch was on an island, his head face-first in the sand. The German cyborg woke up and looked around at his surroundings. All he saw were cylinder-shaped idols with arms, which were purple and had long, drooping faces.

"Teddy!" VC called out. "Teddy, were are you?" He got up and looked around. "TEDDY!"

In the distance Fake Crash rolled to Von Clutch on his wheelchair.

"Dude, the bear can't talk," he said. "He's not like he's sentimental or anything."

"He can talk!" VC snapped back. "When we find him, I'll prove it to you."

Around the corner, six of those idols that I aforementioned described came by. Six of them were holding a large vase. VC rushed to them.

"Have any of you zeen my teddy bear?" he asked.

"A what?" The six of them were confused.

"It's a small bear that haz googly eyez and a red nose."

The six idols looked at each other, confused then one of them said, "We'll help you find it." VC was tingling with delight, as always. "But first, we must get permission from our master, Collator." So the six purple idol thingamajigs escorted VC and Fake Crash to their master.

* * *

While walking, Fake Crash asks one of the creatures a question:

"What are you?"

"We're glounces," one of them replied, who we now call Glounce #1. "

"That's such a terrible name for species like you."

"_Anyways_, we're the so-called guardians of Gemstone Island. Without us, the island will probably sink into the ocean, and any living things that inhabit here will die, no one can't come back, yeah, the list goes on."

"Why isn't it on the map?"

"It's a long story."

The eight finally reached the village of the Glounces. There were only several huts, and the crew entered the one in the middle of the village - the tallest one. There they met a glounce who had a shade of reddish-brown color.

"Hello, Collator," greeted Glounce #2.

"Hello, young one," Collator answered back. "Who are the green and red ones you bring forth?"

"Island castaways."

"Sit," he commanded, and everyone sat down on reddish-brown pillows. "Now, you two, introduce yourself."

"I am Ebenezer Von Clutch," introduced Von Clutch.

"And I'm Fake Crash," introduced Fake Crash. Collator's eyebrows raised after Fake Crash said his name.

"We found them lying on the ground," said Glounce #3. "The green dude said he was looking for his 'teddy bear'."

"In that case, you must go to the Ancient Temple of Lost and Found. That's where we store most lost items on the island."

"What if my teddy izn't there?" asks VC.

"A long, long, long time ago, our ancestors used to live on this island. Then they passed away, but before that they built the temple for the people who've lost their belongings. Then those people can go here and get them. This is because we search searched around this island, and we find the belongings, and bring them to the temple, hoping the lost will be found. If that bear is really that important to you, then you must go with me. The six of you stay here. I'll help these two visitors with their troubles."

* * *

Our three heroes approached the Ancient Temple of Lost and Found, which was really huge, almost as big as the White House.

"Your teddy bear must be located somewhere in this temple. Luckily, I removed all the booby traps," Collator told our two airship castaways.

"He said 'boob'," snickered Fake Crash.

Inside the temple, there was a large door, and on the door was a large painting of a bandicoot that looked eerily similar to Crash, and a girl, and around them were symbols of 18 elements.

"What you see above you are the eighteen elements that Gemestone Island strongly relies on - Time, Fire, Earth, Light, Electricity, Ice, Shadow, Luna, Skill, Water, Flora, Gravity, Rage, Darkness, Iron, Wind, Myth, and Death," Collator explained.

"The bandicoot surrounded by the elements is the chosen one," educated Collator. "They know all the elements that generally exist. The bandicoot's name is yet to be revealed, but the girl is named Eileen. She knows and masters all the eighteen elements. Her location is verified. Some assassin is hunting after her, as well a strong dark force, so we guide her from place to place." Collator steps on a switch under the painting. "To pass through, you must do a special dance."

"Let me take a crack at it," VC volunteered as he stepped on the switch and danced while he sang the following song.

_You put your left foot in_

_You put your left foot out_

_You put your right foot in_

_And you shake it all about_

_Then you do the hokey pokey_

_And you twirl yourself around_

_That's what it's all about!_

Fake Crash and Collator were speechless with their mouths agape. While VC clapped excitedly, as one half of the door between went down. Now VC steps on another switch and sings and dances to the following lyrics:

_Raise your knee_

_Raise your other knee_

_Raise your foot_

_Raise your other foot_

_Walk in a circle_

_Do the Puppet Master!_

The other half of the door opened. Collator went other to investigate.

"Someone must have rigged the special dance!" he concluded after investigating. "And for comical purposes! I shall act upon this soon."

Our heroes went through the opened door.

* * *

Our heroes entered a room in which there was a beam of fluorescent light coming through the center. Fake Crash tried to put his hand over it.

"Don't!" warn Collator. "If you touch that beam of light, something bad will happen."

"What is it, anyway?" asked Fake Crash.

"What _is_ this room, you meant? This is the Ancient Room of Valor and Malevolence. Any fool who dares to touch that beam will disintegrate in an instant. Our ancestors encountered this beam of light when building this temple."

"What would happen if thiz beam of light was destroyed?" asked VC, who was learning more about this island as much as Fake Crash and you guys are.

"Then this island would be doomed. We must press on."

* * *

Our heroes entered a room were VC and Fake Crash were somewhat pink.

"What's going on?!" VC was freaking out.

"This is the Ancient Room between Intelligence and Idiocy," replied Collator. "In this room smart people like the Glounce race are purple, which is how they get their color, while on the other hand, less smart people like you two are pink. I'm very intelligent, so that's why I'm this color."

"_Maybe Coco would turn purple in this room_," Fake Crash thought.

* * *

The trio found VC's teddy bear.

"Teddy!" The German cyborg dashes towards his teddy bear. He suddenly notices drawings on the wall behind it. "What is this strange painting, ya?"

"It is **_The Dark Fate!"_**bellowed Collator. -insertdramatic music- "I sense that a dragon by the name of Valestrom is triggering the _**Dark Fate-" **_dramatic music,_** "**_and if he succeeds, we would be goners."

"Well, how do we stop the Dark Fate?" asked Fake Crash.

"You must defeat two forces of evil, and all will be at rest," answered Collator. "But I sense a third force of evil taking a crack at the** Dark Fate**."

"What is the Dark Fate anyways?"

"**The Dark Fate** states that there are eight masks scattered about in Gemstone Island that can summon evil upon the world, and even the universe. Whoever finds them all and uses their power to summon the magical person concealed in those masks will have a shot a world domination - but not without a little help from 'the dark side'."

"Who are these people inside these masks?"

"They call themselves 'The Mavericks'. I might tell you more about them later."

"Alright."

"Well, we've already found my teddy bear," VC broke in, "so let's head back to the village!"

* * *

At the village, there were drums beating. Collator was coming along with VC and Fake Crash so they could aid them with their journey.

"Fellow village people," the glounce began, "the duo Ebenezer Von Clutch and Fake Crash had showed much significance to us. I shall come along with them to help them end the**_ Dark Fate!" -_**dramatic music- "OKAY, WHO'S DOING THE BOLDING AND THE UNDERLINING AND ALL THE DRAMATIC MUSIC?!"

"It's a fanfic, deal with it," said VC. Collator glared at him.

"Alrighty then...to the ocean!"

Everyone cheered as several glounces built a boat in which the trio of Collator, VC, and Fake Crash got on as they sailed eastward.

* * *

_And so,_

_the cyborg, Von Clutch,_

_and the bandicoot, Fake Crash,_

_team up with Collator,_

_who is a major factor_

_in the prophecy._

_A bigger factor_

_than most of his species_

_has never known._

_What is Collator's role in the prophecy?_

_That has yet to be revealed._

* * *

We now turn to Crash and the gang, who were walking through the forest for a few days. And yes, they had rest breaks, and there were even places for them to stay at for the night.

While guiding Crash and co. through the forest, they entered what appears to be hinterland. Coco spots a tree with a toy squirrel on it. She pulls the tail.

"Welcome to the Gemstone Hinterlands!" it said. "In this timbered wilderness, you'll find odd, but side-splitting animals in this forest, so you better keep a look out for them!" The toy squirrel stopped. Our heroes entered the hinterlands.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you something." Our heroes came back.

"You can get out of the hinterlands easily if you go your own separate ways."

So our heroes split up. Afterwards, the toy squirrel started snickering evilly...

* * *

Cortex walked through the hinterlands, loading his ray gun.

"I'll use this ray gun just in case any animals sneak up on me!" he said.

While adventuring through the forest, a beaver wearing a red shirt popped up out of nowhere and mimicked the scientist. Whenever Cortex picked his nose, the beaver pick his nose as well. Whenever Cortex yawned, the beaver yawned as well. Whenever Cortex scratched his butt, the beaver scratched his as well. Whenever Cortex went inside a portable potty, the beaver went inside as well at the same time, in the same urinal. Whenever Cortex took a dump – that's when the shenanigans ended. Cortex jumped out of the potty in his ray gun stance with the beaver's hands up in the air.

"What's the big idea, punk?!" thundered the N head.

"What's the big idea, punk?!" reincarnated the beaver.

"Stop copying whatever I say!"

"Stop copying whatever I say!"

"I mean it!"

"I mean it!"

"_If I keep this up, he'll keep on copying me!"_ Cortex thought in his mind.

"_If I keep this up, he'll keep on copying me!"_ the beaver thought in his mind.

"What's your name?"

"Barry Nowinski."

"HA!" Cortex said. "You finally said something I didn't say!"

"You finally said something I didn't say!"

Cortex growled so furiously he zaps his ray gun at Barry, misses (obviously), and instead blasts a tree to reveal Charles. Next to him was a blonde dude with spiked hair, a checkered hat, a green jacket, and blue jeans. The two were installing a large pycnometer - similar to the one in Chapter 1.

"Charles?" Cortex called out. "It's that you?"

Charles and the blondie turned around to see Cortex.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the N head loser!" said Charles.

"That's Cortex to you!" Cortex responded back. "And who's your little blond friend?"

"I'm Trent," introduced the blondie. "Me and Charles both attend the same school."

"Uh huh..."

"What's that you got there?" asked Barry.

"This?" Trent walked over to the pycnometer. "This is what you call a pycnometer; me and Charles were assigned to install it here in this location. Once we install the rest here on this island, world domination for Valestrom (and maybe Chantex) would be a breeze!"

"You work for Valestrom too?!" said Cortex.

"Sort of. The rest of my classmates work for him too."

"Trent, you forgot to press the button," Charles pointed out.

"Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me." Trent pressed the red button on the pyconometer and the clouds above formed a hurricane.

"That can't be good..." Barry said as he looked up in horror.

"Now, Cortex, you better take your beaver friend and run away as far as you can, if you know what's good for you!" yelled Charles.

"And what if I don't?" Cortex responded. Charles fired an arrow - using his arms as a bow - at Cortex and Barry, who luckily jumped out of the way.

"What was that for?" asked Barry.

"Either you two leave now, or we'll have to use force!" Trent fired a electric shot out of his hands at Cortex and Barry. Both ran from the two students, scampering like wimps.

"Would it be best to go after them?" asked Trent.

"We should, maybe Cortex could lead us to the bandicoot!" replied Charles.

"The one that beat you to a pulp?"

"Don't bring that up ever again."

Charles and Trent ran after Cortex and his newly acquainted beaver.

* * *

A skunk crawls through the forest.

"Hey, you!" it said to you readers. "Do you know how long it takes to get from here to the nearest rest area?! That's okay, 'cause I QUIT!"

Coco was busy walking through the forest, kicking the skunk out of the way, when she stumbles over a sparrow.

"What the-?" she looked surprised. "Who the heck are you?"

"M3 F1ND5 S3CR3T MA5K" responds the sparrow. He has some sort of contraption on his head with an antenna sticking out of it.

"Are you okay?"

"7U TH3R3. T3LL M3 OR1G1N 0F S3CR3T MA5K 0R 3L53."

"Or else what?" The mind-controlled sparrow picks up Coco by the leg and pulls out a ray gun, pointing it towards her head. "I have no clue what you're talking about!"

"Y0U'R3 R L71NG. L1AR5 FAC3 WRATH OF CHANT3CX."

"Alright, you stupid sparrow," a voice emitted from the contraption. "Put the mind-control device on her!"

"Is that Chantex's voice?" Coco pondered.

"735, CHANT3CX."

Daffy puts the mind-controlling device on Coco's head. Now she's mind-controlled!

"WHAT A551GNM3NT5 N33D B3 D0N3?" asked Coco.

"F1ND S3CR3T MA5K," replied the sparrow.

"AFF1RMAT1V3." The two set off to find the secret mask.

* * *

_And so,_

_the female bandicoot, Coco,_

_becomes infatuated with mind control._

_But hark, two more heroes awaken!_

_Could they be affiliated with Crash as well?_

_Of course, they are!_

_They are vital to the prophecy!_

_Without them, the prophecy_

_would remain unfulfilled. _

* * *

We now interrupt the mind control shenanigans to see where Crunch and Pasadena are.

Crunch and Pasadena woke up to find themselves at a quicksand inlet. They were surrounded by ninja robots.

"What are ya fools lookin' at?!" Crunch was the first to speak. "Crunch got somethin' on his face?"

"They don't look friendly," said Pasadena.

The first ninja threw a shuriken at the duo. They ducked before it exploded.

"You trying' to kill da Crunch?!" snapped the muscle-bound bandicoot. "This is starting to get personal!" He smacked several ninjas with his metallic hand.

"I'm right behind you buddy!" Pasadena pulls out a flamethrower and burns her foes. "Von Clutch gave me this on my 13th birthday!" Crunch gave her a weird look.

A ninja grabs his sword and hit Crunch with it but the muscleman strikes back by picking him up and throwing him into the quicksand. Another ninja tried to use martial arts to defeat Pasadena but she does the matrix and kicks him into the quicksand.

"Retreat!' The remaining ninjas zoomed away quicker than the human eye.

"That was a good workout," says Crunch. "I needed that."

Our two heroes approached an egleant sign that said "Welcome to Ruin Hollow." Up ahead there were civilians walking around.

"Let's ask these people if they have any intel about Valestrom," Pasadena told Crunch as they stepped forward.

* * *

The two witchdoctors Aku and Uka levitated through the forest, scanning everything in sight. One of their scannings was a brown ferret. Like the sparrow, he was mind controlled.

"T3LL M3 0F S3CR3T MA5K, UGL7 MA5K TH1NGAMABOB," the ferret told one of them. "D0 N0T, AND U'LL 5UFF3R."

"I think he's talking to you," Uka told his brother.

"No, he's talking to _you_," Aku snapped back. "You're the ugly one."

"You're uglier!"

"No, you are the ugliest! In fact, you're the ugliest mask that ever set foot on earth!"

"I don't have feet."

"You know what I mean."

The two were bickering for such a long time the ferret installed the mind-controlling device on their heads.

"L3T'5 ST0P 0UR B1CKER1NG AND FIND S3CR3T MA5K," said Aku.

"AFF1RMAT1V3," agreed Uka.

* * *

Our favorite hero Crash just walked through the hinterlands like everyone should, trying to avoid trouble as always, yadda yadda yadda, when he came across a robot. The robot sat on the ground under a tree. Its head was down.

"Hello?" Crash tried to wake it up. It woke up.

"Sorry about that, it's stayed up past midnight and I keep on waking up to the noises of my fellow employees," it yawned.

"Employees?"

"I'm MECH. I may be skinny. But I was sent out here by Chantex DESTROY YOU! And to find the mask hidden around here."

"Hidden mask?"

"And now, it's time for you TO DIE!" All the mind controlled characters in this chapter merged with MECH to form a large robot. MECH was the head, Aku and Uka were the arms, Coco and the sparrow were the legs, and the ferret was a ray gun.

"Say your last words, bandicoot!" MECH laughed evilly.

**End of Chapter 8**


	7. Chapter 7: MECHanical Mayhem

Hello, everyone! Just to let you know, the story will be updated on a weekly basis. Enjoy!

* * *

_The bandicoot,_

_stranded in the hinterlands_

_goes toe-to-toe,_

_mono e mono_

_with a robot._

_The foe seems loaded,_

_proving to be a challenge_

_for the bandicoot._

_However, nothing's a challenge_

_for him, the hero._

_No matter the foe,_

_Crash is surely to come out on top._

_If he wishes for smooth victory,_

_he might as well rely on his companions - _

_now known as the other heroes - _

_for much assistance._

* * *

**Chapter 7: MECHanical Mayhem**

"Say your last words, bandicoot!" MECH laughed evilly.

"Dude, you said that ever since the last chapter was updated," complied Crash.

"Who cares!" MECH points a laser arm at Crash. The bandicoot rushed behind a rock before the robot shot. However, he destroyed the rock, and Crash's underwear (which he got from Santa) was revealed.

"That's not all I got, bandicoot!" MECH shot small laser beams at Crash. The bandicoot hides behind a tree this time, and the beams hit the tree. Then suddenly, something happened to Crash. He was hanging in midair upside down!

"How the-" wondered Crash.

"Now it's time to twirl you!" MECH twirls Crash around and around until he got so sick he throws up across on the right leg and the ray gun of the robot boss. The sparrow and the ferret fell out.

"What happened?" wondered the sparrow. "The last thing I remembered, I was walking through the forest when some frog dude strapped some mind-control thing on my head!"

"How are you guys?" asked Crash.

"Oh, I'm Pete," introduced the sparrow. "That over there is Wilbur, my friend." He points to the ferret, who was kissing the ground.

"I'm back on the ground!" cheered Wilbur. "Oh, how I missed you!"

"Look what you did!" screamed MECH. "You obliterated my leg! And my awesome ray gun! Those teenagers of Chantex's are gonna get me for sure!"

"Teenagers, you say?" wondered Crash.

"And for that, you will suffer the consequences!" A giant pistol appeared out of MECH's remaining leg. It shot a large ice beam at our heroes.

"Look out!" Crash got on his feet and pushed Pete and Wilbur out of the way.

"The three of you may have dodged that move, but this time I'll cut your mortality in half!"

"Hello? We're in a K+ fanfic, and your gonna halve our mortality?" said Wilbur.

MECH grew an extra leg. Actually, make that _four _legs.

"Run away!" Crash yelled as he, Pete, and Wilbur ran away from MECH, who began chasing them.

* * *

The three came to a stop near a pond, where Cortex and Barry were seen across from where they were, resting.

"Cortex?" Crash panted. "Is that really you?"

"Who else would it be, bandicoot?!" replied Cortex.

"Barry, you're alive!" rejoiced Pete as he and Wilbur ran around the pond to meet up with Barry. "Where have you been? And why are you with that ugly N-head dude?"

"I heard that!" retorted Cortex.

"You mean Cortex?" said Barry. "We were both running away from a chameleon and his friend. Those two are definitely up to no good. What about you guys?"

"We're running from some robot dude," replied Pete. "I don't think he's up to no good either."

Suddenly, a lightning bolt stroke where Crash was. The bandicoot miraculously dodged the bolt.

"What the - " He looked up to see Charles and Trent in a far distance.

"You again?!" Crash yelled to Charles.

"Look, Trent," Charles told his friend, "we've got the bandicoot and the N-head, right where we want them!"

"Alright, Charles, what do you doing here?"

"We and Trent here are looking for a special mask. A mask that will not only help both Valestrom and Chantex conquer the world, but destroy the other planets in orbit!"

"Why would you want to do that?" asked Cortex. "Not that it is a bad idea or anything, but I should have thought of that years ago!"

"It's too complex to tell you the full details right now," replied Trent. He then turned to Crash. "So, bandicoot, have you seen the sky lately?"

Crash looked up and gasped in horror at the hurricane, which was slowly increasing in size.

"If that's up there..." Crash trailed off. "...then that means."

"That's right. We've installed a pycnometer in this very forest," Trent explained. "Valestrom is planning to install even more on this island so that **The Dark Fate"** -dramatic music - "will go as planned."

"And the one installed in Motorworld? That was a test run to see if it worked," Charles added. "And, since you're the chosen one and all..."

"Chosen one?!" Crash was in shock.

"...we'll have to stop your efforts with THESE!" Charles whistled, and out of the shadows were creatures that were black in color. They had no facial features, but they did have tentacles are arms and legs. There were also tentacles coming out from their backs.

"What the heck are those?" asked Crash.

"These are called Shadows, part of the Gloombreed," explained Charles. "Valestrom and Chantex both produced these creatures in their lab. Me, Trent, and all our other classmates call on them in times of need."

"We can even call out our own species of Gloombreed as well," Trent also pointed out.

"Now ATTACK!" Charles ordered as the Shadows went after Crash and company. Crash spun several of them.

"I got your back Crash!" Cortex pulled out his ray gun and pulled the trigger, only to find out he ran out of ammo.

"D'oh! If only Uka was here!"

Crash noticed that the remaining Shadows were attempting to devour Barry, Pete, and Wilbur. Luckily he spun them just in time.

"Thanks, pal," thanked Wilbur.

"Time to turn things up a notch." Charles whistled again, and this time gold-colored griffins appeared out of the sky. We'll just call them Golden Griffins.

"I don't think that's enough to stop Crash..." said Trent. He whistled, and out appeared armored ducks with lightning rods on top of their heads. These are called Lightning Ducks.

"Charge!" Trent commanded as the Lightning Ducks charged after Crash. Once the bandicoot fended them off, the Golden Griffins started to attack Crash.

"My ray gun would have been useful right now!" said Cortex.

Then out of nowhere, Tropy warped into the action.

"Tropy?!" Cortex was very surprised. "How'd you get here?"

"It was N. Gin's lame invention," grunted Tropy. "He used it on me by accident, and now it seems I wounded up here!"

Tropy looked up and saw the Golden Griffins flying above him. He screamed like a little girl and jumped into Cortex's arms. Cortex dropped Tropy momentarily.

"Who's that guy?" asked Trent.

"One of Cortex's friends," replied Charles.

"That guy has friends?! Didn't expect that..."

"Tropy, use that staff of yours to rid of those griffins!" ordered Crash.

"But I still don't know how to use it fully yet!" Tropy complained.

"I don't care just use it!"

So Tropy fired a fire ball from his staff on the griffins, to his amazement. Charles and Trent were in awe.

"Didn't expect that either," said Trent.

"Alright, I think I had just about enough of this imprudence!" Charles pulled out a bow, and pointed it at Crash and company. Trent pulled out a minitaure cannon and pointed it at Crash and company as well.

"Oh, man, we're done for!" screamed Barry.

"Say your last words, bandicoot and friends!" said Charles.

Suddenly, a flash. Charles and Trent covered their eyes.

"Where did _that _come from?" wondered Trent.

A brunette popped out of the bushes holding a camera in her hand. This brunette had a pink scarf around her neck, and she had on a black tailored dress with short, pink flounce sleeves and a pink ribbon sash belt. He also had on tall, black leather boots. Around her neck was a green amulet with a design that resembled a dragon.

"Charles, you idiot!" she yelled at Charles. "You flinched before I could take the freaking picture!"

"Oh, yeah, well what are you doing here in the first place?" responded Charles. "Aren't you supposed to be at the school."

"I just want to come here and take some pictures, that's all. Oh, and Chantex wanted me to give you guys these."

The brunette gave Charles and Trent amulets with similar dragon designs. Charles's amulet was a turquiose amulet, whereas Trent received a yellow amulet.

"Who's that girl?" asked Tropy.

"This is one of my evil classmates, Azalea," Charles introduced to Crash and company. "You must excuse her, I don't know why she was consigned here in the first place."

"Who are they?" asked Azalea.

"Crash Bandicoot's friends," replied Trent.

"Crash Bandicoot?...The Chosen One?" Azalea smiled gleefully as her eyes went wide.

"Yeah, that's him in the jeans." Trent pointed to Crash.

"I must take pictures of him right away!" Azalea said cheerfully as she began to take photos of Crash.

"But what about us?" asked Cortex.

"Eh...you're not that all important. Not as important as The Chosen One!"

"You're supposed to destroy the bandicoot, not take crappy pictures of him!" yelled Charles. "Use your flora rpowers!"

"Can't you see I'm busy?!"

"Kill him already!"

Azalea picked up a tree and bashed Charles with it.

"Can't you at least execute that on the bandicoot?" said Charles. Vines sprout out of Azalea's back, and they picked up Charles by the throat.

"Will you PLEASE shut up?!" yelled Azalea.

"Fine, fine, whatever you say!" Charles appeared to be losing his breath. Azalea dropped him back on the ground as the chameleon gasped for air, with Trent tending to his injured neck. Azalea returned to her normal cheery self and turned around to face Crash.

"So you're the bandicoot Valestrom's been talking about all the time, eh?" said Azalea. "You don't look that shabby at all."

MECH (hopefully you didn't forget about him) crawled through the forest, panting.

"What happened to you, MECH?" asked Azalea.

"My oxygen tanks went low after running after that bandicoot," he panted. He sees Crash. "Looks like I finally found him."

"Do you need a little boost?" Azalea asked cheerfully.

"Yes, please!"

So Azalea walked over to MECH and touched his metal skin. MECH glowed in a bright green color until green spikes grew out of his skin. He stood up proudly.

"Whoa," Pete was in awe.

* * *

A civilian strolled through the streets of Ruin Hollow when he stopped and fell on the ground unconscious. A hooded man was behind him, and he retracted his hand. He then pulled out a GPS.

"This will help me find Crash's accomplices," he thought. He selected Ruin Hollow, revealing two blinking red dots on the map.

"Bingo."

Crunch and Pasadena roamed through the town of Ruin Hollow. Then ninja robots appeared. Local civilians took notice.

"There's more of them?!" barked Crunch. "That means more workout for me!" He knocks one ninja out with his fist. Pasadena, on the other hand, used grenades - atomic grenades.

"I sure hope you know E=MC squared," she punned, "'cause that's how these babies were invented!"

"That pun had no relation whatsoever," Crunch pointed out, "but oh well."

She stick the grenades to her foes and they exploded. The smoke cleared up, and there was no one in sight. Civilians came out of their houses, cheering.

"That was AWESOME!" cheered Crunch. "Where did you get those?"

"I got these on my 12th birthday!" Pasadena replied.

Up ahead was a house that read "Grantor: The Wise One". Pasadena and Crunch ran towards the house. They knocked on the door, and the house fell down, revealing the hooded man.

"Hello, Crunch and Pasadena," he said. "I've been expecting you."

* * *

Crash and company looked up at MECH. Azalea was sitting on his shoulders, smiling happily and humming to herself.

"Let's see how effective my new powers are!" MECH fired a green ball of energy at Cortex, but Tropy came by to block it with his staff.

"I'll cover you, Cortex!" Tropy told Cortex.

"Not for long!" A vine comes out of where MECH's ray used to be, which is now a tree. The vine then seeped into Tropy's brain, and now he totally lost his bananas! The master of time punches Cortex in the face.

"Tropy!" yelled Cortex. "I know you're under some kind of trance, but that was uncalled for!"

Tropy was still in trance. Barry suddenly noticed the vine hooked to Tropy's brain.

"I have a plan! We could lead Tropy farther into the forest, and the vine could snap off!" suggested Bugs.

"Good thinking!" said Cortex. So Cortex went farther into the forest, with Tropy running after him. They kept on fighting until they got to the end of the forest.

But the vine did not snap off.

"Did you really think your plan would work?!" laughed MECH. "There's no way you can get it off, unless you knock off my body parts!" He covers his mouth with his hands.

"You just _had_ to tell them that, didn't you?" said Azalea.

"That's all the information we need!" thanked Crash.

While Tropy was going at it with Cortex, Crash spun MECH's legs, destroy them and releasing Coco. He then did a hi jump and punched both of MECH's arms, releasing Aku and Uka.

"Is everyone here?" Crash looks around to see everyone safe.

"Looks like everyone is here," said Aku. Tropy and Cortex were no longer fighting, since the vine was out.

Then N. Gin warped in front of everyone's eyes.

"Ha, it worked!" he cheered. "The Warpinator does work on whoever uses it?"

"N. Gin?!" gasped Coco.

"Are you affiliated with Crash?" asked Azalea. N. Gin looked and saw MECH, who was hovering since he lost his legs.

"Aaahh! Giant robot!" he shrieked. "Good thing I upgraded the Warpinator." N. Gin pressed a button on the Warpinator, and the invention floats in the air for a moment before it clings to MECH; it fused with the robot's body, and made him grow back his limbs.

"Oops," was all N. Gin could say. "That wasn't supposed to happen."

"Yes, the power!" MECH shot another green ball of energy, this time at Crash. Crash used Aku as a shield, with Aku enduring the damage he took. Then the malevolent robot grabbed Coco and held her up.

"What should I do with her?" MECH asked Azalea. "Crush her with my hands?"

"No!" Azalea responded, but in a worried mood. "...At least let Valestrom and Chantex decide on her fate!"

"Crash do something!" Coco called out to her older brother.

"Time to make use of your powers, Aku," Crash told the witchdoctor.

"I don't think we should use my powers too soon, Crash," said Aku. "After all, I am cursed..."

Crash sighs and throws Aku at MECH's hand, releasing Coco out of MECH's hold and destroys the hand in the process, but then the robots shoots deadly seeds at our heroes. They dodged the attack.

"Is that all you got, craven?" said Uka.

MECH threw his tree at at the heroes. N. Gin fired a rocket at the tree, causing it to explode.

"Time to do more damage!" N. Gin whipped out a hi-tech sniper.

"What on earth is that?" asked Tropy.

"I call it, the Sniper 4008! I sold the other seven on eBay." The cyborg shot the contraption at MECH, as the shot went through MECH's chest. Azalea miraculously jumps off MECH before MECH exploded into tiny robot pieces.

"Hooray! We did it!" Crash cheered as he sang the Dora the Explorer _We Did It _song.

"What's your favorite part of the chapter?" Crash asked. -insert your favorite part here- "My favorite part was when-"

Coco slapped the snot out of her brother.

"I don't believe it..." said Azalea. "...MECH's dead...MECH's gone...Charles...Charles? Trent? Where are you?" She seemed worried.

"They must be after that secret mask!" concluded Crash.

"Secret mask?" Tropy wondered.

"I'll explain later. Follow me!"

So Tropy, Coco, N. Gin, and the witchdoctor brothers followed after Crash in search of the mask.

"Hey, wait for us!" Barry called out before he, Pete, and Wilbur were grabbed by vines. Azalea held them up to were she could see them.

"You three will be coming with me!" she excitedly told them.

"Ugh," Wilbur grunted as the four went where Crash and the others were going.

* * *

Charles and Trent were strolling through the hinterlands in search of the mask.

"If we inspect every foot of the hinterlands," said Trent. "Then maybe we can find the mask. The Mask of Determination!"

"We better find that mask," replied Charles. "Otherwise Chantex will have our hides!"

The two come to an abrupt stop, when they notice Crash and the gang on their left. Tropy, however, was not with them.

"Augghh, it's you again!" groaned Charles. "Why won't you and your companions just take a hike already?"

"Hey you guys!" A cheerful Azalea came out on the right, as Barry, Pete, and Wilbur were held in the air by the vines protruding out of Azalea's back.

"Azalea, destroy those clowns!" Charles commanded, pointing to Crash and company.

"But why can't you do it?" asked Azalea, in a cutesy way. "You little wuss?"

"I AM NOT A WUSS!" barked Charles. "I'm real!"

Everyone except for Azalea laughed in unison.

"Hey!"

"Cortex, look what I've found!"

Crash and the gang turned around to see Tropy holding up a mask. This mask had a face that resembled an African American, along with a low fade. Tropy stood in the open field for everyone to see the mask.

"Could that be...yes, it is! The Mask of Determination!" Charles gleamed.

"Where did you find that?" asked Cortex.

"While you guys were looking after Charles, I took a slightly different route, and I unexpectedly found this mask on my trails," explained Tropy. "Is this the mask Crash was talking about?"

"Of course it is! Gimme that mask!" Charles ran up to Tropy and attempted to grab the mask. Tropy held it up high enough for the chameleon to not reach it.

"You want to fight for this here mask?"

"If you insist!"

"Hoo boy, here we go..." moaned Crash. Tropy threw the mask to Coco for her to hold.

"Everyone spread out," Trent told everyone. "This is gonna get ugly real quick."

Everybody did as they were told, giving Charles and Tropy enough space to fight.

"I can't watch..." Azalea said as she covered her eyes.

* * *

Meanwhile in the forest, two fisherman dudes where fishing for trout.

"Great day for fishing, eh, Doug?" The first fisherman, Bo, asked the other.

"You can say that again," Doug responded back.

"Great day for fishing, eh, Doug?"

"I didn't mean it."

Red spirits that resembled the Shadows Crash fought swiftly drifted through the forest. One of the fishermen noticed them.

"More pesky critters!" The fisherman, Bo, gnarled. "I'll-a give them a lickin', a good one too!" Bo grabbed his shotgun and shot one of them, leaving behind a crimson liquid, while the others drifted foward. Doug inspected the red substance using his finger and smelled it.

"It's blood!" Doug exclaimed.

Suddenly, a dark shadow appeared over the fishermen. Then in two seconds, everything went black as they witnessed their final moment alive.

* * *

We now return to Tropy and Charles, who were still preparing themselves.

"Will you two please fight already?" yelled Coco.

"Fine, then!" said Charles, as he faced Tropy. "Come at me bro!"

So Tropy charged at Charles screaming with his staff in hand. Charles let out a sound wave by stomping the ground, causing Tropy to fall. When Tropy landed, Charles jabbed him repeatedly with needles, which came out of his body.

"That's gotta hurt," Crash winced.

Once Tropy got up, he was ready to launch fire balls at Charles. Charles grew wings and flew around, dodging all of Tropy's attacks.

"How is that even possible?!" said Tropy.

"It's all in the element of myth!" replied Charles.

"Myth? An element?!" said Cortex. He busted out laughing. Angered, Charles fired an arrow at the laughing Cortex, and the arrow went through the scientist's midsection. Cortex collapsed in a heartbeat.

"Cortex!" Uka cried as he tended to Cortex.

"You're gonna pay for that!" Tropy let out one big giant fire ball, but Charles destroyed it with a beam of light.

"It'll take more than some contemptible fire ball to annihilate me!" Charles beckoned.

"Try using one of your buttons, Tropy!" Coco suggested.

"What if something bad happens?" Tropy said.

"JUST DO IT!"

Tropy gulped as he nervously pressed the yellow button. A thunderbolt came out of the sky and striked Charles, electrocuting the reptile. Charles lost his wings as he fell to the ground with a loud thud.

"Is the battle over?" Azalea asked as she uncovered her eyes.

"It's not over yet!" Tropy proclaimed proudly as he pelted Charles with a myriad of fire balls.

"No! Stop it! I beg you! Stop!" Charles screamed with each hit he endured. Azalea looked horrified.

"Alright, alright, I give up!" Charles surrendered as Tropy stopped. "You can keep the mask!"

Charles was badly burnt; however, he managed to get on his feet.

"You may have defeated me," he said, "but mark my words, Crash, if you or any of your companions cross paths with me again, trust me, I'll be better and stronger than ever!"

"That's what they all say," Trent muttered under his breath. Charles gave him a death glare.

"Charles? Trent? Azalea? Are you guys there?" a voice called out. That voice belonged to a poison dart frog, who came out from the shrubbery.

"Hello there, Xavier," said Azalea. "What brings you here?"

"Chantex sent me here to tell you guys about the meeting," replied the frog. "I sent out Blood Shadows through the hinterlands to find you guys, but to no avail. Did you get the Mask of Determination as Chantex told you?"

"Ummmm..." Charles looked around suspiciously. He saw that Coco hid the mask behind her back. "...no."

"Ugh," sighed Xavier. "Oh, well. Chantex knows exactly what to do with you."

Charles gulped.

"Well, off to the school we go," Xavier said. "Come on, you guys."

Azalea dropped Barry, Pete, and Wilbur as she went along with Xavier, Charles, and Trent.

"Until we meet again, bandicoot!" Charles told to Crash one last time.

"Bye!" Azalea waved happily to Crash and the gang as the four students exited the forest. Tropy ran over to the ailing Cortex.

"How is he?" he asked Uka.

"Not so good," Uka replied. "He appears to be bleeding excessively."

Cortex moaned in pain.

"Hey, Coco, may I see the mask?" asked Crash.

"Uh, sure." Coco gave the Mask of Determination to her brother. As soon as the mask was in Crash's hands, the mask came to life.

"'Sup son?" it said. Crash screamed. "No, dude, chill, I'm not gonna hurt you or anything. I promise."

"Who are you?" said a suddenly spooked Crash.

"I'm Theo, one of the eight Mavericks."

"Mavericks?"

"Yep, you heard right. The Mavericks are a special group of people that used to protect Gemstone Island and stuff. But NOOOO, those idiot glounces decided to turn us into masks, all because of some retarded prophecy called **The Dark Fate**!" - dramatic music-

"Could you possibly fill us in on this prophecy?"

"Yeah, the Dark Fate specifically states that some madman is gonna be intent on finding all eight masks (I'm one of them) and use the powers of the mask to unleash evil upon the world. And it also says something about the destruction of other planets besides this one!"

"And how do you prevent this prophecy?"

"You gotta find the other seven masks before the madman gets his grimy hands on them. If he has all the masks, it's all over. Anything else?"

"Well...can you help out my 'friend' here?"

Crash showed Theo the ailing Cortex.

"Yikes!" yelped Theo. "That guy's gonna die soon from blood loss if we don't find someone to cure him. Luckily I know someone who will cure this guy. To Excalibur!"

A force field surrounded Theo, Crash, Cortex, Coco, Aku, Uka, Tropy, and N. Gin as it seemed like they were about to teleport.

"What about us?" asked Pete, since he, Barry, and Wilbur were left out.

"No way I'm taking you guys with, you're not a part of the prophecy?"

"What do you mean?" asked N. Gin.

"I'll explain later!" Theo replied before he and the others with him teleported away, leaving the three forest friends in the dust.

"Wanna go out for lunch?" suggested Barry.

"Heck yeah!" Wilbur replied as he and his friends went to find a nearby restaurant.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_The bandicoot,_

_proud he may be,_

_has defeated his robotic foe._

_Along the way, he witnessed another foe_

_fall to one of the heroes of the prophecy._

_A mask fell in the possession of our heroes_

_The mask of Determination._

_Concealed in it was a soul,_

_a living soul,_

_of one of the Mavericks,_

_a high-standard group who vowed_

_to protect Gemstone Island_

_from evildoers._

_But why was this particular Maverick_

_has his soul stuck in a mask?_

_The wonders that be..._

**End of Chapter 7**

* * *

But wait, there's more!

At Chantex's School, Chantex was in a room where silhouettes consisting colors of red, yellow, blue, light blue, dark blue, green, orange, turquoise, purple, magneta, pink, fuchsia, lavender, brown, tan, dark, gray, and white gathered around.

"Alright everyone, anything to share?" asked Chantex.

"I found a crystal!" said the brown silhouette, holding up a crystal.

"I found a gem!" said the light blue silhouette, holding up a gem.

"I found these!" said the white silhouette, holding up Coco's cellphone and Pinstripe's MP3, as well as his headphones.

"Dave, where did you find those items?" asked Chantex.

"The cellphone fell out of the Chosen One's sister's pants," replied the white silhouette, which was Dave, "at the Motorworld. And I found this MP3 and headphones on the ground in the same vicinity." Dave pressed a button on the MP3 for everyone to hear...

_That car I'm driving make you feel some type of way_  
_That Custom Breitling make you feel some type of way_  
_Is it because my homies rich you feel some type of way?_  
_Some type of way, make you feel some type of way_

(This song is called "Type of Way" by Rich Homie Quan. Again, I pulled these lyrics for comedic effect.)

"What is this garbage?" said the lavender silhouette, who was covering its ears.

"Turn it off now!" begged the red silhouette. Dave turned off the song.

"Thank goodness that's over," said Chantex. "So Charles, did you get the Mask of Determination like I told you to?"

"Well, you see, Master..." Charles said before being interrupted by...

"Charles lost the mask to Crash! The Chosen One!" The green silhouete blurted out, which appeared to be Azalea.

"Oh he did, did he!" Now Chantex was ticked off. "Charles, how do you expect me and Valestrom to take over the world if that bandicoot has one of the masks! And how do you expect to excel as a villain in return?"

"At least I seriously injured one of Crash's accomplices!" Charles defended himself.

"You still didn't retrieve the mask though," said the purple silhouette, which was actually Xavier.

"Trent, Charles, since you've failed to recieve the Mask of Determination, you two will be on janitor duty until I give you your next mission. You hear me?"

"Yes, sir," Charles and Trent said the turquoise and yellow silhouettes vanished.

"Now, who's going to find the Mask of Endurance in Demeter Canyon?" asked Chantex.

"I'll go!" volunteered the brown silhouette, raising their hand.

"I'll go with," volunteered the tan silhouette.

"Alright then, go and retrieve the mask. You'll have to camp out in Demeter Canyon until the 26th of December. Don't let me down!" The brown and tan silhouettes vanished.

"I also need two lovely students to find some crystals for me at the Canyon," Chantex continued.

"I-I'll go," said the pink silhouette, in a timid voice.

"Azalea, would you like to go with?" Chantex asked Azalea.

"Sure thing!" Azalea responded happily as the green and pink silhouettes vanished.

"Now that's taken care off, meeting's over." The remaining twelve silhouettes vanished. "Xavier, stay." The purple silhouette, which was Xavier, returned.

"What is it, Master?" he asked.

"I was thinking that we should kill off one of Crash's companions...permanently..." Chantex said the last word in an extremely dark tone as he turned to face a large container with an unconscious Nina in it.

"Oh dear..." Xavier gulped.

* * *

_Coming up next in the Dark Fate..._

In the next chapter, Crash and the gang will arrive in Excalibur, and will eventually meet up with Crunch and Pasadena. What surprises awaits for them?


	8. Chapter 8: Excalibur Fools

Hello, everyone! Remember in the last chapter when I said that Crash and company would meet up with Crunch and Pasadena? I decided to move that to the next chapter due to scheduling conflicts.

"Mmm mmm mmm. Slack author," Penta shook his head.

Anyways...here's Chapter 8!

* * *

_The bandicoot,_

_along with the other heroes,_

_are being teleported to Excalibur_

_to heal the ailing Cortex_

_before he dies of blood loss._

_In this city, they will meet the Guardian,_

_who watches over the island_

_when the Mavericks are away._

_What surprises lurk for Crash_

_and the other heroes_

_in this peculiar place of sorts?_

_They'll find out eventually,_

_and embark on a discovery_

_like never before._

* * *

**Chapter 8: Excalibur Fools**

Our heroes arrived, or in this case, teleported to the city of Excalibur. This city appeared to be a mix between a medieval city and a modern city, along with some castles to go with it.

"Welcome to the city of Excalibur, peeps!" said Theo. If you recall from the previous chapter, Theo is a talking mask. Crash is holding him as we speak.

"Did you just call us _peeps_?" asked Tropy, who was holding an extremely pale Cortex. Also in the previous chapter, Cortex suffered a wound from an arrow that went through his stomach and caused external bleeding. N. Gin is holding the wound to prevent further bleeding.

"Is that a problem bub?!"

"No, just asking."

"Anyways, as I was saying, Excalibur is the capital of Gemstone Island. It's in the center of the island. This is also where Grantor resides.

"Grantor lives here?" Crash perked up.

"You know the guy?"

"Yep, met him in the fifth chapter."

"Don't break the fourth wall, Crash," Aku told him.

"I would advise seeing Grantor, just to let him know that you've found me. But first, we got to get your little yellow homie to the doctor's office. Luckily for us, I am well acquainted with one..."

* * *

Our heroes arrived at a nearby hospital. They immediately ran up to the front desk, where a woman was there.

"How may I help you?" she asked them. Tropy showed her Cortex, who appeared to be on the brink of death. She gasped.

"Doctor Edwin! Come quick!" she yelled. A doctor rushed in.

"That's the guy!" Theo pointed out.

"What is it, Karen?" he asked. Karen pointed to Cortex; Dr. Edwin quickly grabbed him and rushed him to a nearby room.

"Was that really necessary?" asked Coco.

"He does that all the time," Karen scoffed.

* * *

While the gang was sitting in the waiting room as Dr. Edwin tried his best to cure Cortex, Crash was having a very informational conversation with Theo.

"Who are the Mavericks?" Crash asked the sentimental mask.

"The Mavericks, you ask?" Theo raised an eyebrow. "Just a bunch of dudes - like me - that try to help preserve this island. I was decreed to be part of such a group at the age of eighteen. All we have to do is make sure no evil baddies are trying to take over the world or anything."

"So why were you and the other Mavericks turned into a mask?"

"It's mainly for safety reasons. Those Glounces were worried that someone truly demented could try to assassinate us and take over this island."

"What are Glounces anyway?"

"A species of idols that are supposed to protect the island while we're away."

"One more question: Where the heck is Gemstone Island?!"

"I'm glad you asked that; it's not even on the Earth's surface. (Technically it's a part of Earth, but it's not on the planet.)"

"WHAT?!"

"Speaking of which, how did you even find this island?"

"Via airship. We crash-landed by the way."

"Hmmmm...I see...You must have stumbled upon our secret portal that leads to this island."

"Secret portal, eh?"

"Exactly."

Aku floated over to the two.

"Both of you have been talking for quite a while," he said. "Why don't you both walk around for a little bit."

"I guess you're right." Crash got up with Theo and hand and walked around the hospital...

* * *

..until they reached the upper floor of the nursery room. They looked down and saw all the babies sleeping away in their cribs.

"Yo, dude, I just thought up of something funny," Theo told Crash.

"What is it?" asked Crash.

"Hold me up, bro."

So Crash held up Theo as the mask shouted out the following to the babies:

"WHY ARE Y'ALL SO FREAKIN' UGLY?!"

The babies started crying.

Crash ran to and hid in a corner as he and Theo laughed quietly.

"I can't believe you actually did that!" Crash giggled.

"You wanna give it a shot?" offered Theo.

"Sure."

Crash walked back and shouted out:

"WAKEY WAKEY!"

This made the babies' cries even louder. Soon N. Gin walked in.

"What's with all the noise?" he asked, covering his ears.

"Hey, N. Gin, you wanna yell out something to startle the babies?" Crash asked him.

"I'll do my best." N. Gin cleared his throat and shouted:

"YO MOMMA!"

The babies' cries went up one decibel.

"How was that?" he asked.

"I don't think that was an appropriate thing to shout out," said Theo.

"CRASH! N. GIN! DR. EDWIN WANTS US!" Coco called out.

"Sure hope Master Cortex is doing okay..." N. Gin hoped.

* * *

Crash (holding Theo, of course) and N. Gin met up with the others at the room in which Cortex is being taken care of. They waited outside the door, but not long before Dr. Edwin came out.

"I have some good news...and some bad news?"

"Yes?" Aku was listening attentively.

"The bad news is...Cortex flat-lined."

"NOOOO!" Uka wailed, knowing that he won't be able to mess with Cortex anymore.

"The good news is that me and my crew saved his life."

"Phew. That's a relief!"

"So how is Cortex doing, doc?" Coco asked.

"Cortex is doing well," Dr. Edwin said. "Once we give him a couple more pints of blood and fix that wound of his, he'll be out in a jiffy."

"May we speak to Cortex?" asked Tropy.

"Of course you can." Dr. Edwin let our heroes inside the room, where they found Cortex lying on the hospital bed watching a game on TV. The game was the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl, and Oregon State was beating Boise State, 17-3. (Oregon State won 38-13, by the way.)

"Can you believe they broadcast ESPN and its sister channels on this island?" Cortex chuckled. "Who would have thought of that?"

"Are you feeling any better Cortex?" asked N. Gin.

"Isn't it obvious, you moron?" Cortex snapped. "If I wasn't, I wouldn't be in this mood!"

"Chilax, cuz, the man was just asking a question," Theo said.

"Did he just call me _cuz_?"

"My thoughts exactly," Tropy mumbled.

"So how long will it take for the doctors to heal the wound?" Crash asked.

"About an hour or two," Cortex replied. "But once I encounter Charles again, I'll make sure that I avenge him for this wound!"

A nurse entered the room.

"You have a visitor, Neo Cortex," she said as a badger wearing beige robes entered. Crash quickly realized who it was.

"Grantor?" Crash seemed rather surprised. "Is that you?"

"Hello, Crash and friends," greeted Grantor. "Someone told me that you all arrived in Excalibur, and when I heard that one of you was seriously injured, I rushed here as quickly as I could."

"You know this guy Crash?" Coco questioned her brother.

"This was the guy that warned me about Dave's intentions," Crash explained.

"Well, uh, Grantor, it's a pleasure to meet you!"

"It's a pleasure to meet you too..." Grantor stopped. "What's your name again?" (Grantor watches over our heroes, though he is very forgetful...)

"Coco Bandicoot."

"Nice to meet you, Coco!"

"Quick question," Tropy spoke, "what exactly do you do?"

"I watch over all of you as you complete your journey."

"So you're just like Santa - a creeper!" N. Gin concluded.

"If you put that way, then yes."

Grantor took notice of the mask in Crash's hands.

"So, Crash, what's that you got there?" he asked the bandicoot.

"You mean this?" Crash held up Theo. Theo was dismayed at the sight of Grantor.

"Ah, Theo! Long time, no see, my friend!"

"Yeah right," Theo rolled his eyes.

"Come on now, Theo, you know that enslaving you within a mask is for the greater good."

"Greater good?! Those Glounces only did it solely because of the fear that some dude was gonna assassinate me! Or use my powers!"

"True, true, but if you weren't a mask, then who knows that evil things could have transpired?"

"Yeah, if you say so..."

Grantor turned his attention to our heroes.

"I want all of you to come to my house," he said. "I want to you to receive as much intel as possible about **The Dark Fate**." (dramatic music)

"Can I come?" Cortex begged.

"Yes, once you're fully healed."

"D'oh!"

* * *

At Grantor's house, which was actually a mansion, everyone was sitting in sofas in a spacious living room.

"Do you have your Warpinator with you N. Gin?" Grantor asked the cyborg.

"Why yes I do." N. Gin whipped out his trusty invention.

"Would you please use it to warp all of Cortex's minions in here?"

"What for?"

"I'll let you know once they're here."

So N. Gin as he was told. All of Cortex's minions - Ripper Roo, Dingodile, Tiny, Koala Kong, N. Trance, Pinstripe, and the Komodo Brothers - were warped to the living in an instant.

"Where are we?" Dingodile looked around.

"Did N. Gin use his lame invention on us?!" Komodo Joe snapped.

"Ahem." The minions directed their attention to Grantor.

"Who the heck are you?" asked N. Trance.

"I am Grantor," the badger introduced himself. "I have watched over you minions while you were trying to save Christmas."

"Good gravy, you're old!" Roo insulted Grantor.

"That wasn't very nice..." said Coco.

"So, uh, Grantor, why did you watch over us and stuff?" Pinstripe questioned.

"Because you helped Crash," Grantor explained, "and Crash is a part of the prophecy."

"There's a prophecy...about Crash?!" Kong's eyes widened.

"Precisely." Grantor pulled out a scroll from his robe and pulled it out as he read its contents. "According to this scroll, Coco, Cortex, Tropy, Aku, and Uka are a part of this prophecy as well. I would tell who else is a part of it, but I don't want to spoil anything."

"Am I a part of the prophecy?" N. Gin asked.

"Absolutely not."

N. Gin pouted.

"OOOOOOH CYBORG DUDE JUST GOT TOLD!" Theo shouted.

"What else does the scroll say?" Uka questioned.

"That's all the information that I have to tell you," Grantor closed the scroll. Everyone went "Awwwwww...".

"Now I want you all to walk around and explore the city of Excalibur. Surely you'll find many secrets!"

* * *

That night, Crash and Coco strolled through Excalibur with Theo, taking notice of the many diverse people that lived here. During their stroll, Coco bumped into a thuggish looking person. The person turned around and got mad quick.

"Watcha lookin' at, punk?" the thug snapped. "You wanna fight?" He put up his dukes. Coco got in her karate pose.

"Don't hurt yourself, sis!" Crash called out.

"Come on, Crash, I can take this guy out easily," Coco responded. Coco certainly didn't disappoint, as she tore the thug to a pulp at the expense of her moves. Theo seemed to be enjoying every single bit of the fight.

"OOH KILL 'EM!" he shouted. Crash was shocked that Theo knew the phrase.

Then Coco finished off the fight by karate kicking the thug where the sun doesn't shine.

"OOH KILLED 'EM!" Theo shouted yet again as the thug doubled over.

"We should go to a restaurant or something," Coco suggested. "Too many weirdos on the street."

* * *

The bandicoot siblings arrived at a restaurant called _Viciliano's._ There they saw Dingodile, Ripper Roo, Pinstripe, and the Komodo Brothers sitting at a round table. On the table was a pile of food.

"Let me guess: you had to deal with weirdos?" Crash guessed.

"Yesssss," Komodo Moe replied. "There wassss thisssss one particular person who thought that we were football playersssss from the University of Miami."

"A lot of people here in Excalibur are very delusional..." Roo concluded.

"What's that you got there?" Coco pointed to the food.

"Let'sssss ssssssee..." Komodo Joe dug through the pile of food on their table. "Coleslaw, some chicken, pork ribs, corn, smashed potatoes and green beans."

"Here's the dessert." Dingodile held up a plate piled with ice cream, banana pudding, and sherbet. "This should show you how suckish the quality of this restaurant is."

"Did any of you happen to find any 'secrets' around here?" Theo asked the mutants.

"The only secret here is that this city is the worst," Dingodile replied.

Komodo Joe's cell phone rang. He picked it up.

"Hello Tropy. Where are we, you asssk? We're at _Viciliano's._ Cortex'sssss out of the hossspital? And he's on WHAT? Yes, yes, I'll bring the others. We'll meet you there. Bye." Joe put away his cell phone.

"Tropy wantssss ussss to meet him at 31st Street downtown," he told the others. "Cortex'sssss up to no good..."

"Where is 31st Street anyways?" wondered Crash. "Does anyone have a map?"

"I have a map." Roo held up a map of Excalibur, which was covered in barbecue sauce, making it useless. Everyone glared at Roo.

"It's not MY fault the napkins here suck!" Roo snapped.

"Do you know where 31st Street is, Theo?" Crash asked.

"Pffft. I know this city like the back of my head!" Theo boasted. "If I had one...I'll tell you guys where to go."

So Crash and company left _Viciliano's_ to got to 31st Street.

* * *

Once the gang got there, they saw Tropy standing on the sidewalk with his mouth agape.

"What is it, Tropy?" Crash asked.

"Look!" Tropy pointed to Cortex, who was on a float with his head on it. N. Gin was with him. The float roamed through 31st Street, wrecking any vehicle that got in its way.

"HOW DID YOU GET THAT FLOAT?!" Crash yelled.

"How else, you dummy?" Cortex shouted from above. "I stole it! And I decorated so it will look like me! Now listen, as I sing a song about my lovely float!"

"You only had that float for at least twenty minutes," Tropy pointed out.

"Shut up."

(Note: The song is based off of "I'm On A Boat by The Lonely Island. N. Gin's lines are in parentheses.)

_Aw yeah. Get your towels ready, it's about to go down. (Yeah)_  
_Everybody in the street, hit the flippin' deck (Yeah)_  
_But stay on all your toes (Yeah)_  
_I'm running this, let's go..._

_I'm on a float (He's on a float)_  
_I'm on a float (He's on a float)_  
_Everybody look at me,_  
_'Cause I'm ridin' on a boat! (Ridin' on a float)_  
_I'm on a float (He's on a float)_  
_I'm on a float_  
_Take a good hard look,_  
_At my super awesome float!_

_I'm on a float, bandicoot_  
_Take a look at me_  
_Straight ridin' on a float_  
_As you can see (Yeah, yeah, yeah)_  
_Tyin' five knots_  
_People lookin' at my coat_  
_You can't stop me bandicoot_  
_'Cause I'm on a float_

_Take a picture, trick (trick)_  
_I'm on a float, snitch (snitch)_  
_We drinking cherry Cheerwine,_  
_Cause it's so crisp (crisp)_  
_I got my track trunks_  
_And my flippie-floppies_  
_I'm flipping burgers, you at Kinko's_  
_Straight flipping copies_

_I'm on a float and_  
_It's going fast and_  
_I got a nautical themed_  
_Pashmina afghan_  
_I'm the king of the world_  
_On a float like Leo_  
_If you're on the shore,_  
_Then you're sure not me-oh_

_Forget land, I'm on a float, bandicoot (bandicoot)  
Forget trees, I climb ladders, bandicoot (bandicoot)  
I'm on the deck with my boy, bandicoot (yeah)  
This float engine make noise, bandicoot_

_Hey, ma,_  
_If you could see me now (See me now)_  
_Arms spread wide_  
_On the starboard bow (Starboard bow)_  
_Gonna fly this float_  
_To the moon somehow (The moon somehow)_  
_Like Kevin Garnett,_  
_Anything is possible (Anything is possible)_

_I'm on a float (Yeah, yeah)  
I'm on a float (Yeah, yeah)  
Everybody look at me,  
'Cause I'm riding on a float! (Whoa...)  
I'm on a float  
I'm on a float  
Take a good hard look,  
At my super awesome float!_

(The music video for the song above can be found here: /watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0.)

"Good grief, this guy's terrible at rapping," Theo said.

"I've tried telling him, but he just doesn't listen..." Tropy sighed.

* * *

Later that night, everyone met up at Grantor's house. (I mean mansion.) They were all in the living room.

"I'm glad that everyone's here," Grantor began to speak. "Fortunately for you all, I have enough rooms in this mansion for you to live here."

"It is a gratitude to be living here," said Aku. "But I must ask you something."

"Yes, what?"

"When we crash landed here on this island, we survived the crash; how is that so?"

"The prophecy forbids any one of you from dying, depending on if you aid Crash in his journey."

"I have a question too," Uka approached Grantor. "Where on this planet is Gemstone Island?"

Crash whispered into Uka's ear - or, actually, where Uka could hear.

"Oh...I see."

"Anyways, it's all time for you to go to bed," Grantor told everyone. "Hopefully tomorrow will be a day of rest and relaxation."

"But isn't Christmas tomorrow?" Pinstripe questioned.

"...Did you not receive your gifts from Santa Claus?"

"I guess so..." Pinstripe took into consideration the coal he got.

* * *

Crash was in his bed, and looked up at the ceiling.

_"So I'm the chosen one?" he thought. "I'm supposed to save this island from evil? Why me?"_

"Go to sleep, Crash," a sleeping Aku mumbled.

"Fine." Crash went to sleep.

**End of Chapter 8**

* * *

_Coming up next in The Dark Fate..._

Crash and company will meet up with Crunch and Pasadena at Ruin Hollow, and together they will scale Demeter Canyon in search of a second mask. What surprises what for our heroes?


	9. Chapter 9: Shape Shiftin'

Hello, everyone. Remember in the last chapter when I said that I was going to update on a weekly basis? Yeah, I kinda got slack. Hopefully it will never happen again. Hopefully. Since the Super Bowl is today, I thought that I might ask some of the players participating in it about my story. So I had Geary call each one individually and tell them what they think of this story. Here's how it went...

xxxxxxxx

Geary: (calls Richard Sherman) So, Richard Sherman, what do you think of Charles the Chameleon?

Sherman (Seahawks CB): He's the best student at his school! When you try him with a sorry scientist like Tropy, look at the result you are going to get! Don't you ever talk about Charles!

Geary: But Tropy beat Charles.

Sherman: Tropy, don't you open your mouth about the best, or I'm going to shut it for you real quick!

Geary: Okaaaay...moving on. (calls Peyton Manning) So, Manning, should Omaha be included in the story?

Manning (Broncos QB): No way man! And besides, Omaha is a run play! But it could be a pass play, or a play-action pass, depending on a couple of things: the wind, which way we're going, the quarter, and the jerseys that we're wearing. It really varies, really, from play-to-play. So there's your answer to that.

Geary: Alright then... (calls Marshawn Lynch) What do you think about Crash Bandicoot?

Lynch (Sehawks RB) He's all 'bout that action boss.

Geary: That's it? Nothing else? Ah well. (calls Wes Welker) Wes, what do you make of Cortex spoofing The Lonely Island?

Welker (Broncos WR): When was that?

Geary: ...That was in the previous chapter...

Welker: Did the story get updated or something?

Geary: Sounds like you got a concussion. (calls Russell Wilson) What's up, Russell Wilson?

Wilson (Seahawks QB) I just want to let you know that you have nothing to be ashamed about. I strongly support you during this humiliation.

Geary: What are you talking about?

Wilson: I'm just talking about how you're stuck narrating this story.

Geary: WILSON, I WILL USE A TUBE TO INSERT A SMALL WOODLAND RODENT DIRECTLY DOWN YOUR THROAT.

* * *

_The bandicoot,_

_now resting,_

_in Excalibur,_

_is on a mission,_

_to save the world from evil._

_He has many companions at his side,_

_who will aid him on his exploits._

_Will they help him,_

_or hinder him?_

_That question is surely debatable._

_Regardless, there are matters_

_to be taken care of,_

_before the time comes._

* * *

**Chapter 9: Loose Canyon**

The date was December 26th. It was a bright, sunny day at Excalibur. Crash had awaken from his slumber, and headed to the dining room of Grantor's house to greet the old badger.

"Top of the morning, Crash," said Grantor, sitting in his chair.

"Good morning to you Grantor," Crash replied. "Anything on the agenda today?"

"Well, there is something that I've been needing to ask you. Did Theo ever show you his powers?"

"No he hasn't..."

"Could you be a dear and bring him to my garage? I would like to demonstrate his powers, just to see if they are still effective."

"You have a garage?!"

"Don't even ask."

* * *

Crash and Grantor were in the very spacious garage of the house - erm, I mean mansion. Crash is holding Theo.

"You just couldn't lie to the old man, couldn't you?" Theo whispered to Crash.

"Heroes don't lie," Crash smiled.

"Ahem!" Grantor cleared his throat to get Crash and Theo's attention. "Now that both of you are here, we can finally get this whole Theo tutorial thingamajig over with. So, Crash, what if I told you...that Theo grants the wearer the ability to shape shift?"

"You can do that?!" Crash asked.

"When I was in human form, yes," replied Theo. "But now I'm a silly, old mask; my powers would be worthless."

"We could have Crash wear you and see if your powers are still effective."

"HA! Absolutely not!"

But Crash went with it anyway. The bandicoot held Theo perpendicular from his face.

"Boy if you put me on your face..." Theo threatened, but it was no use. As soon as Crash put the mask on his face, there was a sudden burst of light, and Crash's skin turned to a dark brown.

"It worked!" Grantor's eyes widened.

"This is sooo cool!" Crash beamed.

_"Too bad it'll only be temporary," _Theo pointed out. Theo now appeared to be Crash's conscience of sorts. Both Crash and Grantor could hear him.

"Whaddaya mean, it's only temporary?"

"You can only wear Theo for so long," Grantor explained. "Should you exceed the time limit (which, apparently, is ten minutes), grave things would happen to you. I should know this, I have studied Maskology 101 in college."

"There's a class pertaining to masks?"

"Apparently so. All we need to do find is test out your powers..."

"Somebody come quick!" Dingodile yelled from the second floor of the house - I mean, mansion. Crash and Grantor exited the garage and ran up the stairs to see what the problem was.

* * *

Crash and Grantor met Dingodile in the bathroom, where there was a toilet that required some unclogging.

"Need help unclogging that toilet?" Crash questioned.

"Yes, mate," Dingodile answered. "It took me two lousy attempts to unclog this thing. I accidentally broke the plunger on the first try."

"So what did you use on your second attempt?"

N. Gin walked by, soaking wet and smelly.

"Never again..." he growled at Dingodile.

"Hehe," Dingodile chuckled. "I thought his rocket head would solve the problem. Turns out I was wrong."

"You know, Crash, this could be the perfect scenario to test out Theo's shape-shifting powers!"

"Huh?" Crash looked.

"Maybe you could turn into a plunger and unclog the toliet!"

_"Unclog the toliet?!" _Theo boomed. _"Grantor, you must be out of your mind!"_

"Where'd that voice come from?" Dingodile cowered in fear.

"That was Theo," Grantor replied. "Crash is wearing him so we could test out his powers. Even as a conscience, we can all hear Theo coming out of Crash's brain."

"Oh, I see...so that's why Crash changed color."

"Um, Dingodile, do you still have the broken plunger?" Crash asked.

"Say no, Dingodile, say no!" begged Theo.

"Actually I do." Dingodile whipped out the plunger. The rubber cup and the stick were separated.

_"No one here can tell a single fib, can they?" _Theo thought to himself.

"Would you mind putting it together?" Crash asked again. Dingodile did as he told, and then Crash focused his mind on the plunger.

"Sure hope this goes well..." said Grantor.

"Alright...here goes nothing!"

After a while of concentration and squinting, Crash turned into a plunger.

"Ho ho!" cheered Grantor. "Theo's shape-shifting powers are still effective!"

Once Crash realized he could move as a plunger, he went straight to the toilet in an on-going effort to unclog it. While he was doing that, a radar sound was going off.

"I'll be back in a jiffy," he told Dingodile as the badger rushed to his room. He came back with a contraption with radar on it.

"What's that ya got there, mate?" asked Dingodile.

"This here is what I call the Mask Radar," replied Grantor. "I built this baby years ago using high-powered and futuristic technology, in order to locate the masks should **The Dark Fate**-" -dramatic music- "be brought up upon. It will only operate if we find the eight masks in a specific order, according to the prophecy. Since Theo is selected to be found first, the radar will locate the second mask to be found."

"Sounds rather complex, I must say."

"I unclogged the toilet," Crash said. He walked up to Grantor and Dingodile - now in his normal form - holding Theo.

"That quick?"

"Yeah, it really wasn't a hassle," Theo said. "So, Grantor, what's that you got there?"

Grantor explained to Crash and Theo his Mask Radar and how it worked. After he was done explaining, Tropy approached three (including Theo) in his housecoat.

"I just heard a peculiar noise," he yawned. "What was that?"

Grantor showed the master of time his Mask Radar, and did yet another explanation, much to the chagrin of Crash, Theo, and Pinstripe.

"The radar has located a second mask somewhere in Gemstone Island," Grantor explained.

"What about that?" Tropy pointed on the radar a mini-map, with a red dot.

"That's a map of Excalibur. The red dot must signify a portal to the place where the mask can be located."

"Should I wake up the others and inform them about the second mask?" Crash asked Grantor.

Grantor nodded. "Tell them to meet in the dining room," he added.

* * *

Crash ran up the stairs and to his room, where Aku was fast asleep.

"Wanna do the honors?" Crash asked Theo.

"You bet!" Theo agreed as the bandicoot held him to Aku's face.

"YO AKU YOUR FEATHERS ARE ON FIRE!" Theo screamed in Aku's ears - or at least where Aku could hear. Aku sprung up from his slumber.

"Ahhhhhhh! Someone get the fire extinguisher!" he panicked before directing his attention to Crash and Theo, who were snickering. "That wasn't funny, you two! You ended my perfect dream!"

"Perfect dream?" Crash raised an eyebrow.

"I had a dream I was being hand fed grapes from beautiful women!"

"Okaaaaaay..."

"Is that a problem?!"

"Guys, guys, you won't believe the dream I had!" Cortex rushed into the room - in his undies. Uka accompanied him. "I had a dream that a bunch of hot women were feeding me grapes!"

"I had a similar dream myself," said Aku.

"Stop stealing my dreams, bud!"

* * *

Once Crash woke up Coco and the minions, everyone met in the dining room.

"Yo, Kong, pull your pants up!" Theo yelled at Kong, who had his pants around his waist. Everyone looked. "Y'all are some disgusting people!"

"Do it again, Tiny missed it," said Tiny; he was the only one who didn't look.

"SILENCE!" Grantor boomed throughout the room as everyone directed their attention to the badger. "Now that I have your attention, I must show you this:"

Grantor revealed to everyone (excluding those who've already saw it) his Mask Radar, and did an explanation for the umpteenth time.

"Somewhere in Excalibur there is a portal that leads to where the second mask may be located," Grantor explained. "Would someone fetch the scrap piece of paper on the kitchen counter?"

"I'm on it," Coco volunteered as she retrieved the piece of paper. Once she returned, she opened it up. "It's a map of Gemstone Island!"

"Could you hand it over please?" Grantor asked as Coco handed him the map. The badger studied the map thoroughly, and studied his radar.

"Hmmmmm...according to the radar, the second mask is located in...Demeter Canyon. It is located in the northwestern part of this island."

"Does this mask have a certain name?" N. Gin questioned.

"Why yes, yes of course! The next mask you're looking for is called the Mask of Endurance. In case you've may been wondering, there are eight masks total. Enslaved in each mask is a member of the Mavericks, a special group of people dedicated to protecting this island. Each Maverick (and mask) has a different, special, and humongous heroic trait that separates them from normal heroes."

"So why are the Mavericks enslaved as masks?" asked N. Trance.

"Because of **The Dark Fate**." -dramatic music- "There is a certain fear that a villain may use the prophecy to his advantage, and use the powers of the Mavericks to accomplsih world domination, which is why we enslaved the Mavericks as masks to protect them from evil."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good and all," said Crash. "I wanna find this mask already."

"Alright then, eager one. But before you depart, I must give you this." Grantor reached into his pocket and pulled out a cellular device, which he gave to Crash. "This here is called the Contactor. This will keep you in touch with me and the minions on your journey."

"Sweet."

"I also want to give you this." Grantor whipped out a backpack. "You can use this backpack to keep the masks that you've found. Now you won't have to carry Theo around all the time. You can also take the map as well."

"Don't accept the backpack, Crash!" Theo warned.

"Oh, Crash is going accept this backpack. Isn't that right, Crash?"

"Say no, Crash, just this once!"

"I'll take it!" Crash eagerly took the backpack.

"What is wrong with you people?!"

"What's his problem?" Coco questioned.

"Apparently, Theo thinks that it is considered okay to lie," Dingodile explained. "Some Maverick he is..."

"What you say?!" Theo snapped at Dingodile.

"Ahem." Grantor cleared his throat to get everyone's attention again. "I think it's about time for you and the others to find that mask, Crash."

"Okay," replied Crash. "Coco, Cortex, Tropy, Aku, Uka, let's go!"

"I don't wanna go!" pleaded Cortex. "Not without my trusty float!"

"Your float's going to be fine Cortex. It's not like somebody's gonna steal. You could put it in the garage?"

"This house has a garage?"

"IT'S A MANSION, NOT A HOUSE!"

"Whatever. Lead me to the garage, bandicoot."

So Crash put the map and Theo in his new backpack (against Theo's will) as the bandicoot exited through the front door, with Cortex, Coco, Tropy, and the witchdoctor brothers leading the way. Aku was the last to leave; when he shut the door, all the vases in the mansion fell and broke.

"Oh dear..." Grantor sighed.

"Did any of us ever tell you about Aku's curse?" Roo asked Grantor.

"A curse, you say?" Grantor raised an eyebrow.

* * *

_And so_

_Crash is set to find_

_another mask,_

_the Mask of Endurance_

_in Demeter Canyon._

_It is the second mask_

_required to be found;_

_something grave could happen_

_if the masks were not to be found_

_in order according to the prophecy._

_What could that grave happening be?_

* * *

We now turn our attention to Fake Crash, Von Clutch, and Collator, who, since the sixth chapter, are still sailing on their boat. They've been sailing for two days, and the three haven't ate or drank since.

"I'm soooo hungry..." FC moaned, famished. He and VC looked towards Collator, who was steering the boat. He appeared to be unfazed.

"How come you're not famished?" VC asked Collator.

"I'm a glounce," replied Collator. "I am impervious to thirst and hunger."

"I hate you."

"Hey you guys, look!" FC pointed at a comet that was heading directly at the boat. The comet hit the boat, leaving behind an explosion of wood.

* * *

We now turn to Chantex's school, where Charles and Trent were cleaning up the hallways. If you recall from the epilogue of Chapter 7, the two were forced to janitor work as punishment for failing to retrieve the Mask of Determination.

"Putting on on janitor duty..." Charles mumbled to himself. "...just because we couldn't get the mask..."

"We could sneak out the school and find the Mask of Endurance, just to prove (and redeem) ourselves," suggested Trent.

"What if we get caught? We would be in so much trouble!"

"Dave got caught sneaking out of Valestrom's lair, and he didn't acquiesce any consequences."

"Dave's a teacher's pet, plain and simple. He'll get away with just about anything."

"What difference would it make if we escaped?"

"I see your point...alright, we'll bolt this school, go to Demeter Canyon, and retrieve that mask. But if we get in trouble, you're taking the blame!"

"It's a deal!" Charles and Trent shook hands.

* * *

We now return to Crash and the gang, who, after parking Cortex's beloved float in Grantor's garage, may have appeared to found the portal leading to Demeter Canyon. The only problem was how to enter the portal, since it was guarded by a gate.

"Hello and a cockle a doodle doo to you all!" Chick reported. "This is Chick Gizzardlips, alongside with my trusty partner Stew. And it seems here that Crash and his friends have approached a roadblock in their attempt to get to Demeter Canyon!"

"That's right, Chick," said Stew. "It'll take the construction workers some time to get this problem taken care of!"

"I wasn't talking about that kind of roadblock..."

"Well you shoulda been more specific!"

"Why the heck are you two here?" Coco quickly noticed the reporters. "And how did you know we're going to Demeter Canyon?"

"First of all, we decided to stay here in Excalibur," stated Chick.

"And secondly, we've been stalking you guys since you've arrived here," added Stew.

"You weren't supposed to tell them that!"

"Oops."

"Forget about them, Coco," Aku told Coco. "They have no purpose here."

"Whaddaya mean, we have no purpose here? We can help!"

"Oh really?" said Tropy. "Then why don't you come over and help us with this gate?"

So Chick and Stew walked over to the gate and began investigating.

"There doesn't seem to be a keyhole," concluded Chick.

"I thick I got an idea," Crash said as he pulled out the backpack Grantor gave him and pulled out Theo. Theo was fast asleep.

"WAKEY WAKEY!" Crash screamed, causing everyone else to cover their ears. Theo woke up.

"I'm up, mama, I'm up!" Theo yelled. He saw Crash snickering. "Really, man?!"

"I learn from the best," replied Crash.

"I taught you well, didn't I?"

"You taught Crash how to scream?" asked Uka.

"No, it's not like that, you wouldn't understand."

"Uka would understand, he yells at me all the time," said Cortex.

"Shut up," Uka told Cortex.

"So, Crash, would do you need me for?" Theo asked Crash. Crash showed him the gate. "And what do you want me to do about this?"

That's when Crash wedged Theo between the gate, attempting to open it, but to no avail. Theo appeared to be bent.

"Why don't you just put him on the gate?" Stew suggested. Crash did so, and Theo morphed into the gate.

"Whoa! It worked!" Crash was in awe. "Theo, can you hear me?"

"Yep, loud and clear," Theo responded.

"Try opening that gate."

"As you wish." After a few seconds of struggling, Theo finally got the gate open.

"The gate is finally open!" said Aku. "Alright, everyone, let's go through that portal!"

"Can't leave without Theo," Crash said. He touched the opened gate, causing Theo to fall out of it.

"How did that happen?" asked Coco.

"I dunno." Crash put Theo in his backpack, much to the chagrin of Theo. "Let's go!" Everyone except for Chick and Stew went through the portal.

"Should we go through?" Stew asked.

"Why not?" replied Chick. "I bet Demeter Canyon would be more exciting than this cruddy town!" So Chick and Stew went through the portal.

* * *

Once through the portal, Crash and the gang arrived in what appears to be a village. To their right was an elegant sign. Coco walked over to the sign and read it aloud.

"Welcome to Ruin Hollow," she read. Crash pulled out his map and looked for Ruin Hollow on the map.

"What is it Crash?" Aku peeked over Crash's shoulder.

"This place is adjacent to Demeter Canyon, or at least according to this map," Crash concluded. "The canyon is not that far away..."

"It's the chosen one!" a random villager shout out loud after seeing Crash. All the other villagers ran up to the bandicoot. They all carried Crash away, like he made a game-winning shot or something. Aku followed the villagers. Cortex started to grow very envious of Crash, given the praise the bandicoot is receiving.

"Yoo hoo! Over here!" Cortex tried to get the villagers' attention, but his efforts were fruitless. "How come they flock Crash, but not me?"

"Because you're not the chosen one," Uka replied.

"Why couldn't it be me?"

"Let's get real, Cortex," Coco butted in. "If you were the chosen one, then the world be probably be doomed."

"Shouldn't we follow the villagers and find out where they're taking Crash?" Tropy suggested.

"You're right," Cortex sighed as he and the others went after the mob.

* * *

The four heroes arrived in what appears to be the center of the village. They saw a giant statue of Crash (with villagers gathered around it), and boy were they astonished.

"Is that a statue of Crash Bandicoot?" Cortex gazed.

"No, it's a statue of Abraham Lincoln," Uka replied sarcastically. "Stop acting foolish."

A fat man wearing a yellow robe came up on a podium in front of the statue. He banged on a drum to get the villagers' attention. While he was doing that, Coco, Tropy, Cortex, and Uka squeezed in between the horde of people.

"Today is a special day for our village," the burly man began, "for the chosen one has finally arrived after years of speculation!"

There was wide amount of jubilation from the villagers.

"Who is that guy?" Cortex asked the man next to him.

"That's our mayor, David Kendrick," the man replied.

"That's your mayor? What is it with these mayor stereotypes?!"

"There isn't a stereotype for mayors, Cortex..." Coco told him.

"There isn't?"

"And now," the mayor, Kendrick, continued, "without further ado, here is the chosen one, Crash Bandicoot, and his guardian, Aku!"

Crash Bandicoot walked onto the podium, doing all these poses and hand signs and whatnot. Aku just followed Crash.

"Crash is really enjoying the limelight," Tropy chuckled.

"That should be me up there!" pouted Cortex.

"Let's get real now, mustard head."

"Mustard head?! Tropy, that was highly uncalled for!"

"Sup people?" Crash said as he began his speech. "Feels great to be here and all, honestly I didn't expect to be here, but I'm glad I'm here! Uhhh... peace out...!" Some speech that was...

Crash flashed a peace sign as the crowd chanted his name.

"Yo Crash, over here!" a voice called out. Crash looked over, and noticed Crunch and Pasadena. Crash ran over to meet the two, as Aku followed along.

"Now where is that bandicoot going this time?" wondered Cortex.

"Let's follow him," suggested Coco. So she, Cortex, Tropy, and Uka ran after Crash, where they saw him rejoicing with Crunch and Pasadena. Crunch took notice of the four; he gasped, and ran up to them and gave 'em a group hug (or in this sense, a bear hug).

"Crunch missed you guys!" said the burly bandicoot.

"Put us down this instant!" Tropy gasped for air. Crunch did as he was told.

"It's great to see you guys again," Pasadena walked up to the four. "Speaking of which, someone here wants so meet you."

Cortex raised his hand.

"And no, it's not the president."

Cortex put his hand back down.

"I just want to touch his forehead!" Cortex whined, giving the others weird looks.

"Come on, Crash, we gotta go meet someone," Coco told Crash - who was on the ground scratching his ears like a dog would - as Pasadena led him the others to a random cottage. Pasadena knocked on the door.

"We're back," she called out. "Come up to the front door, Crash," she told the bandicoot.

A bandicoot that looked a lot like Crash, but with gray fur, green jeans, yellow sleeveless jacket, robotic arms, short brown hair, black fingerless gloves and a scar above his left eye opened the door.

"Hello, Crash," he said. "It's about time you arrived."

* * *

_Coming up next..._

Who is the mysterious bandicoot that knows Crash's name? When will Crash and company finally scale down Demeter Canyon? Where on earth is Chick and Stew? Who will win Super Bowl XLVIII? Will there be another blackout? Why is LeBron James flopping all the freaking time? Why is 6 running away from the 7? All of this and more, in the next chapter!


End file.
